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friendships go both ways...find someone who matches your energy. chasing your dreams makes you interesting and others will naturally gravitate toward you.
May 28, 2025
Related Recs
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i don’t know you so take this with a grain of salt if it doesn’t apply to you. i’ve also never had a long-term romantic relationship so maybe i’m not the best person to listen to anyway. BUT i do have a beautiful community of long-lasting friendships which i believe has given me the skills to be successful in a future romantic partnership
i guess my point is it might be helpful to focus on developing friendships and community first. who knows, a date might come out of it too! but i’ve gone on dates with people who don’t have many friends before and it’s turned out to be a red flag cuz they haven't had experience with relationships in general
also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i haven’t connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs you’re feeling too. but i know it’s a different thing than being head over heels for someone… all depends on what we’re looking for i guess
all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process ✨
Mar 16, 2024
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I am just learning this lesson as a deeply anxious person when it comes to dating/crushing! We’re told on social media so many things about being pursued and black cat energy and how to get men to chase etc. (Which a lot of these ideas are true and beneficial to keeping healthy detachment).
But, I’ve seen none of these methods work for me and actually have caused me a lot of wasted anxiety. Obviously don’t be too clingy or overwhelm communication. But there’s genuinely nothing wrong with showing interest by maintaining communication with someone you’re into. Here’s an example:
I met this guy that I like..alot. When we’re in person it’s ELECTRIC, but our texts are consistent/not as electric. I decided to go a week not texting to “test his interest”. Hated how I felt doing it. Last night I just said, “Hey :) you doing okay?” to which he responded “Holaaaaaa”.
I instantly felt like an idiot because that text felt quite dry to me. So I went on Tiktok for advice and naturally every video said “If his text is dry pull back and ghost him because he’s not interested.”
But that didn’t feel right for me, and discouraged me a lot. especially based on our past communication, I just didn’t feel he was pulling back. So I decided to just try my own approach. I said, “I’d like to chat with you. You around this weekend?”
He INSTANTLY facetimed me and we had a wonderful hour long catch up where we both realized texting sucks and it’s so much nicer to chat on the phone. (We live in different countries atm)
My point here is, if I would’ve listened to all of this advice, I would’ve pushed away someone I really enjoy based on what society considers the right way to date.
DO YOU & BE YOU. You can’t say or do the wrong thing to the right person :)
Nov 29, 2024
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Honestly just hangout with people who treat you well and actively keep choosing you. Its a lot harder to pine over a guy who didnt choose you when other friends show you how easy it is too love you. I guess the answer is to find good love elsewhere and with time realise this other guy /who didnt chose you/ was never going to give you what you deserve (to be chosen and to be loved and for it to be a healthy loving mutual relationship)
Mar 31, 2025
Top Recs from @colonelstanders
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which unfortunately makes me better than every American.
but seriously, reading has allowed me to actually articulate my thoughts and I read literature to simply think. borrowing ideas fuels my creativity and I become so much more productive.
May 28, 2025
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silence never bothers me and allowing a couple of seconds to just be in the moment with another person is fine. take a breath, generate your next thought, and move on.
May 28, 2025