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friendships go both ways...find someone who matches your energy. chasing your dreams makes you interesting and others will naturally gravitate toward you.
May 28, 2025
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❓i don’t know you so take this with a grain of salt if it doesn’t apply to you. i’ve also never had a long-term romantic relationship so maybe i’m not the best person to listen to anyway. BUT i do have a beautiful community of long-lasting friendships which i believe has given me the skills to be successful in a future romantic partnership
i guess my point is it might be helpful to focus on developing friendships and community first. who knows, a date might come out of it too! but i’ve gone on dates with people who don’t have many friends before and it’s turned out to be a red flag cuz they haven't had experience with relationships in general
also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i haven’t connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs you’re feeling too. but i know it’s a different thing than being head over heels for someone… all depends on what we’re looking for i guess
all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process ✨
also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i haven’t connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs you’re feeling too. but i know it’s a different thing than being head over heels for someone… all depends on what we’re looking for i guess
all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process ✨
Mar 16, 2024
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🔄That being said, I am a big believer in long term friendships, but like all really good friendships, there's an element of luck. But even good friendships can fizzle out.
Be honest and reach out and people will either match your energy or they won't.
You just give it your best and know that you did what you could. Which from what you said it sounds like you do. If they are telling you they don't want to talk anymore, than that's unfortunately beyond your control.
You'll find your people and they will work with you to make the friendship last. You just have to keep meeting people and being open. Life is always moving.
I've lost a lot of friends in a whole range of painful and benign ways and it never gets any more fun but eventually other doors open. Sometimes it's lonely, but it's a feeling everyone goes through.
Be honest and reach out and people will either match your energy or they won't.
You just give it your best and know that you did what you could. Which from what you said it sounds like you do. If they are telling you they don't want to talk anymore, than that's unfortunately beyond your control.
You'll find your people and they will work with you to make the friendship last. You just have to keep meeting people and being open. Life is always moving.
I've lost a lot of friends in a whole range of painful and benign ways and it never gets any more fun but eventually other doors open. Sometimes it's lonely, but it's a feeling everyone goes through.
Jun 23, 2025
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👫I am just learning this lesson as a deeply anxious person when it comes to dating/crushing! We’re told on social media so many things about being pursued and black cat energy and how to get men to chase etc. (Which a lot of these ideas are true and beneficial to keeping healthy detachment).
But, I’ve seen none of these methods work for me and actually have caused me a lot of wasted anxiety. Obviously don’t be too clingy or overwhelm communication. But there’s genuinely nothing wrong with showing interest by maintaining communication with someone you’re into. Here’s an example: I met this guy that I like..alot. When we’re in person it’s ELECTRIC, but our texts are consistent/not as electric. I decided to go a week not texting to “test his interest”. Hated how I felt doing it. Last night I just said, “Hey :) you doing okay?” to which he responded “Holaaaaaa”.
I instantly felt like an idiot because that text felt quite dry to me. So I went on Tiktok for advice and naturally every video said “If his text is dry pull back and ghost him because he’s not interested.”
But that didn’t feel right for me, and discouraged me a lot. especially based on our past communication, I just didn’t feel he was pulling back. So I decided to just try my own approach. I said, “I’d like to chat with you. You around this weekend?”
He INSTANTLY facetimed me and we had a wonderful hour long catch up where we both realized texting sucks and it’s so much nicer to chat on the phone. (We live in different countries atm)
My point here is, if I would’ve listened to all of this advice, I would’ve pushed away someone I really enjoy based on what society considers the right way to date.
DO YOU & BE YOU. You can’t say or do the wrong thing to the right person :)
But, I’ve seen none of these methods work for me and actually have caused me a lot of wasted anxiety. Obviously don’t be too clingy or overwhelm communication. But there’s genuinely nothing wrong with showing interest by maintaining communication with someone you’re into. Here’s an example: I met this guy that I like..alot. When we’re in person it’s ELECTRIC, but our texts are consistent/not as electric. I decided to go a week not texting to “test his interest”. Hated how I felt doing it. Last night I just said, “Hey :) you doing okay?” to which he responded “Holaaaaaa”.
I instantly felt like an idiot because that text felt quite dry to me. So I went on Tiktok for advice and naturally every video said “If his text is dry pull back and ghost him because he’s not interested.”
But that didn’t feel right for me, and discouraged me a lot. especially based on our past communication, I just didn’t feel he was pulling back. So I decided to just try my own approach. I said, “I’d like to chat with you. You around this weekend?”
He INSTANTLY facetimed me and we had a wonderful hour long catch up where we both realized texting sucks and it’s so much nicer to chat on the phone. (We live in different countries atm)
My point here is, if I would’ve listened to all of this advice, I would’ve pushed away someone I really enjoy based on what society considers the right way to date.
DO YOU & BE YOU. You can’t say or do the wrong thing to the right person :)
Nov 29, 2024
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💪which unfortunately makes me better than every American.
but seriously, reading has allowed me to actually articulate my thoughts and I read literature to simply think. borrowing ideas fuels my creativity and I become so much more productive.
May 28, 2025
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🧠silence never bothers me and allowing a couple of seconds to just be in the moment with another person is fine. take a breath, generate your next thought, and move on.
May 28, 2025