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I still have many of the doubts and sadnesses that I have always had, and some will always be a part of me and how I move through the world, but I feel like I trust myself and the process more than ever, and I’m able to approach everything with a little more softness. I carry love in my heart and know I am deserving of goodness
May 18, 2025
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being seen and appreciated for who i am rather than being kept around out of convenience has truly been one of the most life changing things for me recently. i now have the confidence to use my discernment and make decisions about what is unnecessary and unwanted in my life.
thinking about the difference in my quality of life makes me so emotional, i’m just feeling so many things at once. i’m happy but i feel like my youth has been spent feeling subhuman and unworthy. from now on i will love. i will surround myself with it at all times.
Feb 17, 2025
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Today, I kept feeling a sense of excitement and happiness, and I was constantly trying to belittle these feelings because I’m so used to anxiety that I couldn’t understand why I felt like this even though I have so many things that are stressing me out at the moment in my life, I have responsibilities and deadlines and people that I have to respond to.
You know what?
How ungrateful of me to discard these emotions just because I, on the surface, don’t have a reason to feel them. I don’t need always a reason to feel how I feel.
I think I just learned that I can allow myself to simply acknowledge emotions as they are.
I’m trained to dig deeper when it comes to pain, to understand myself more, and to understand how I can better myself.
I was never trained to just feel happiness and let myself embrace it.
I can feel a cycle breaking and it’s so freeing, I can feel that I’m growing and evolving.
And I’m grateful.
So please, know that you don’t need a reason to be happy, you don’t have to justify to yourself every single good feeling that comes up.
Mar 3, 2025
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My core desire is to continue cultivating this inner energy.
I am, unequivocally, my priority. This awareness has directed my existing energy inward, revealing its transformative power. I've witnessed how this energy blossoms into something profoundly beautiful, a feeling that resonates deeply when one is grounded and whole. I've also seen, during moments of fragmentation and grief, how I rise again, how I transmute pain into beauty, tears into beauty, fear into beauty. This process is becoming increasingly visible.
It's not that pain or fear cease to exist; rather, I consciously choose to transform that energy, refusing to remain trapped in sadness or fear. I choose to transmute it into something far more beneficial—a light that not only illuminates my own path but also radiates outwards, illuminating others.
Apr 5, 2025
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I’m on an instagram break plus I like you guys more so please enjoy this painting I am proud of. Referencing Bosch‘s garden of earthly delights, specifically the third “Hell” panel ❤️🔥 acrylic and gouache on raw canvas!
Feb 5, 2025
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Like I am sometimes haunted by thoughts and thinking too much can be low key scary
Jan 30, 2025
Mar 13, 2025