Rec | ANTI REC: BEING PERCEIVED INCORRECTLY

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today someone told me something about myself and they were just so completely off base that i started questioning my tone and facial expressions bc that was in no way the vibe i was going for a related anti rec: people who meet you once and assume that they know everything about you (which they obviously don’t)

@danielalala

3d ago

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@chronicwebuser

sometimes people are committed to misunderstanding. and when you call them out on that, things change :) or they get rly defensive lmao

2d ago

@mattshawsome

I totally get that. Lately I have been in the process of discovering what it looks like to be absolutely fine with people mis-perceiving, mischaracterizing, and misrepresenting me. Maybe we are talking about different things. But there's some kind of freedom on the other side of this: this complete liberation from needing any kind of understanding or validation from others. Of course I want to be understood—and to understand you—there's something beautiful when we align on meaning, but if you don't get me and there's nothing I can do about it, well then that's just fine.

3d ago

Related Recs

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anti rec: being misunderstood

it makes me feel like tearing my skin off in chunks. i hate it with a passion. especially when people choose to willfully misinterpret you because the self righteous euphoria that they get from feeling like they’re right is more important than actual human communication. im practically vibrating with anger right now it feels like i’ve swallowed a bee. anyways. be kind love others never attribute to malice what can be attributed to incompetence the world is so much bigger than the palm of your hand.

@rerelikesunshine

Dec 9, 2024

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anti-rec / pet peeve — Mind reading

It really cheeses me off when people think they know what others are thinking or what makes them tick or what their motivations are for something. Recently heard someone say, "Oh the whole reason 'Brad' did good at [this thing] is because he got social validation from his success." And I said, "Oh really, did Brad tell you that?" And of course the answer was no, Brad never said that. It was just a great big assumption about Brad's motives—and a negative assumption at that. You contain multitudes. I contain multitudes. We contain multitudes. We are right now the living, breathing, growing sum of a trillion different factors. It is far more interesting and fulfilling to be curious and ask and be surprised than to project our narrow, limited assumptions on others. (apparently this is a bit of a theme for me today since I already posted about it in another form) And if you find yourself mind reading and assuming and putting others in a box, then you know what, no worries! Me too sometimes. But let's not stay there.

@mattshawsome

Oct 19, 2024

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Direct communication

I was spiralling bad bc of assumptions I made. Instead of withering away in my misery, I asker the other person whether their thoughts aligned with what my brain had cleverly predicted. My brain had assumed wrong and caused a great deal of unnecessary distress. Let this be a lesson to us all (mostly future me): just because my brain thinks it, does not mean it's true