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hey gang might throw fragments of my psyche here sometimes! occasionally may leave shards of my body behind as well
May 5, 2025
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our personality is a shade the place we live in and interact with, so we are inevitably blenders of tangled thoughts and corners of memories, a collage of disconnected screenshots
Mar 30, 2025
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👁in my experiments I am exposed. Where the hand of the cleansed pets my scalp, and digs its nails well under my meninges. And grasps onto my chiasm to force my head back out of where it rests, and where it’s been. And I see, the sky bore a pearl. The pinball above casts its atmosphere around us as a dome containing the fog of our skin. Shrouding my prints, and the tracks of my parents. And the map of our possibility is black as the forgotten while beneath. And when the hand releases, I fall to rest and exhaust my memory. And so it fades. Afterward, I walk a little past the white of our sclera onto the cornea, I feel chemical burns on my feet. But the warmth is so telling. So I look at the glow of the phosphorescent spots. They become real seeping through my sight from a figment to a child’s. And as I focus myself on them they grow and consume to create a light beyond the torches of my predecessors. It shows the path we must. Its ambiance lifts me from my souls and its light spreads my retinas to three dimensions over again. And as my skin disappears I see the marble. I reach, but I can only grab its ninth layer of armor. So I climb and conquer the phosphorus cushion to feel the dome. And I peer over it briefly before the shine in my lens smolders and my skull weighs me to the ground one step back. The cascade uninitiated, but close to repeating reliance.
3d ago
Top Recs from @hell0.kittywrld
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😃you can show someone love without knowing their name yet! say hello n commit to practicing seeing n loving the people around you— compliment the choices you can see they’ve made, or sum u notice in their becoming: their glasses, the way they keep their shoulders relaxed, the generosity of their laugh! this goes extra for Black people, homeless people, n other people the state trains us to invisibilize n see as zeroes. very quickly will strangers become community once you learn and call them by their names :)
May 6, 2025
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😃warren at the block said i need to start journaling again so i will try here until i can get an actual journal
but i came in here to talk abt my motivation i think? or at least how i feel life has been asking of me a higher self lately, n so im trying to figure out how to build new patterns n disrupt ones that rly dont even feel like me anymore— they feel more like they’re part of my training? the autopilot used to be really helpful in psychically n emotionally dangerous environments but now it’s like holding me back i think? i’m trying to jump into cold water (metaphorically lmao) to reset my system but it’s also like… bro the change is in the minuscule n accumulating! u gotta do it right now for tomorrow! i need to get back to dreaming….
- 5/5/25; 19:33 CDT in the goo :p
but i came in here to talk abt my motivation i think? or at least how i feel life has been asking of me a higher self lately, n so im trying to figure out how to build new patterns n disrupt ones that rly dont even feel like me anymore— they feel more like they’re part of my training? the autopilot used to be really helpful in psychically n emotionally dangerous environments but now it’s like holding me back i think? i’m trying to jump into cold water (metaphorically lmao) to reset my system but it’s also like… bro the change is in the minuscule n accumulating! u gotta do it right now for tomorrow! i need to get back to dreaming….
- 5/5/25; 19:33 CDT in the goo :p
May 6, 2025
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there are snatches of a redeeming darkness to be found in this life. the other weekend, i was floating in a pool while being filmed (an experience that definitely advanced the trans agenda, that’s another story) and for a moment i found something that felt how i feel when im looking at the moon.
i still don’t know their name, so i‘m calling them space for now. think i used to call them god mostly? but they find me in voices and smiles n the way purple light reflects off the skin of my loved ones. all this plus Blackness makes me think of space as a home— Space is the Place type beat! need to rewatch that movie… but anyways i’m sitting on the couch with Black people and there is future to be found in all shades <3
i still don’t know their name, so i‘m calling them space for now. think i used to call them god mostly? but they find me in voices and smiles n the way purple light reflects off the skin of my loved ones. all this plus Blackness makes me think of space as a home— Space is the Place type beat! need to rewatch that movie… but anyways i’m sitting on the couch with Black people and there is future to be found in all shades <3
May 5, 2025