Absolutely love, I think I've never been shy really but I've shared this feeling you've got of anxiety and fear that my interactions with other people might go so wrong. Used to happen to me because I wasn't sure if I was someone they would like, and my asocial tendencies might get in the way of anyone liking me. Not only that, at some point I convinced myself it wasn't worth trying cause they were probably bad people and would laugh about me. But I'll tell you what, I went to this sort of spiritual retreat with other tenagers at the time, and the woman who was leading it always told us something that seems obvious but that I never really understood until that point, and it was "Opportunities belong to those who take them" if you don't take the opportunity what face do you have to complain?. I ain't lying when I say it changed my life. Because then every time I saw someone I really wished I could talk to I would remind myself that the opportunity was there, beyond the fear and everything, it was there waiting for me. The next thing to learn was to get used to rejection, it sounds awful but the more you hear the word No, the less limiting it is, the less scary. You can't imagine how beautiful it can be for someone else to feel you found them so interesting and worthy of your time even without having met them yet. And finally, start small, give a compliment, set the base for those people you want to meet, let your face be familiar to them, next time you might smile at them, and when it feel comfortable go and say hi, make small talk, tell them what you found nice about them and ask if it would be okay to have their socials, maybe you'll create a bond steady enough to ask for a coffee date or meet up.
wish you the best of lucks XOXO
Apr 26, 2025
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This was a very sweet answer and made me feel a lot more positive about this. You're right, if I don't try I'll never know 💖 I have to hold on to that thought!
Apr 26, 2025
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i totally relate to the struggles of being a socially awkward person in this age - something that has really helped me is stepping out of my comfort person to be the more extroverted person - eg. starting a conversation with someone by complimenting their outfit or asking them to go to an event/cafe even if you don't know them that well
i spent so long waiting for someone to come up to me and initiate a conversation/friendship and i've realised that a lot of feel the same way that i do so the only solution is to do the scary thing and make the first move
May 25, 2025
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most of the social anxiety i had got drop-kicked out of my body fairly quickly after working as a host/server/bartender. it was my job to talk to sometimes hundreds of strangers on a weekly basis. it’s a way to get comfortable interacting with people you don’t know bc there is an understood structure to the interaction, but one you can riff on and make your own. it’s kind of like being on a little stage, you get comfortable with people looking at you and talking to you and asking you questions and that comfort translates to other areas of life. it also gives you great experience learning how to make other people comfortable which is a huge key for reducing not only your own social anxiety, but the social anxiety of other folks you interact with. these days, talking to strangers is easy peasy unless im really just not in the mood, which is also fine. you gotta know when you’re open to chatting vs when you’re feeling introverted and not push yourself to always be one or the other.
if that kind of job doesn’t make sense for you, volunteering is a great option. examples of things i’ve done are volunteering to help out with local concert/event production, volunteering to gallery sit for local art orgs, volunteering at local festivals, etc etc. try to sign up for something to do that requires you to interact with lots of people (working the door at an event, selling tickets, coordinating other volunteers, doing outreach, answering phones, etc etc) if you’re open to it, seek out some kind of leadership role and the growth will become exponential. putting yourself into situations where you have to talk to people you don’t know will lead to cool conversations, plenty of dead ends, and a fair share of awkward moments, but you’ll learn to embrace all of it. mileage is key, gotta get those reps in.
May 13, 2024
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ive met some wonderful people by just showing up to an event of some kind by myself and simply approaching people. a lot of the time you dont even need to approach someone because something happens nearby that you both can bond over. i. e. i met a very kind couple at a concert bc some guy next to me was being weird and rowdy, and they stepped in to shield me! how nice! and we still keep up with eachother.
obviously, you have to keep your wits about you and make sure someone you do know knows where you are, but really what im getting at is this:
simply by being around people, you will meet people. just have fun with it and be bold, and when you DO meet people, you have to keep up the effort in following up a couple times to keep the conversation flowing. 🦋
Feb 2, 2025
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