I feel like the advice is always âdont go with the crowd/donât worry about peopleâs opinions/be yourself.â but whatâs lacking in all that is the part when you are fully yourself and get to know that person, you then get to (have to) decide that youâre cool with who that is and that youâre worth your own time, patience, grace etc. Itâs like meeting a roommate youâve had for years but is on opposite schedules. âI know how you live but still youâre unknown to me, and whatâs your fucking problem with doing the dishes.â I found that way harder than just having confidence in my taste or ideas, I had reform a relationship with the person I became while I wasnât paying attention. and thatâs what your Saturn Return is for BABY!
6d ago
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the person you had become when you werenât paying attention! GENIUS! thank you so much for sharing đđ©”
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i see solitude as metamorphosis. you need that time in the cocoon to really check in with yourself and the joy of that comes from how you'll gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
sometimes i spend SO much time with myself that i get SO BORED that I HAVE to venture outside of myself. when i say venture, i mean challenging myself in how i self- express which will in turn, nourish my interactions with others when i choose to seek company.
proceeding to create art, but trying new methods. going down youtube rabbit holes of things i am interested in so i can discover new references. cooking a meal without following a recipe and surprising myself. making the space i am in super cosy (candles, snacks on deck, music, blankets) going on long walks and picking up conversations with strangers through shared observations of life around us. watching music festivals/boiler rooms and dancing around my room like a mad man.
once you feel comfortable in being by yourself, you'll be more aware of what you need from your company and when you seek it, you'll be a lot more intentional about it and cherish it even more.
Oct 7, 2024
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A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I donât remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me.
I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that donât feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, Iâve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share.
Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too.
It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you donât need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and thatâs really cool <3
Mar 11, 2024
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This was such a mindfuck to me when I first heard it from a good friend (a decade older than me so she always knows whatâs up), because I had it drilled into me for so long that relationships took WORK and the strongest relationships were always the ones that worked through a lot of differences/difficulties/etc.
But relationships are also supposed to be fun and joyous!!! And while just dating, it should feel easy for a good LONG while because yes of course some things will get hard eventually as life happensâbut if dating them was easy, staying in a more serious committed relationship with them (if thatâs your goal) will be much more attainable than it would have been with someone who was hard to date before things became more serious.
(i know this probably sounds so obvious and i was just a 19-year-old dumbass but this is the advice i always give people and so far every person iâve told it to has broken up with a difficult person and found someone who feels safe and easyâincluding me 14 years ago đ
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Aug 5, 2024
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an older couple came in for dinner and totally stiffed me on the tip which was disappointing but shitty tips and math mistakes happen on occasion, so though I was disapointed because I thought we were vibing, I entered the bad tip and got on with it. they came back as soon as we opened the next day with an envelope with $10 and this note. I love that they went above and beyond even for a small mistake like this, I wouldnât have remembered in like a week but the universe tracks on this stuff yknow.
4d ago
oldie but a goodie, room refreshers for the incense curious, and itâs fun to burn paper
Sep 16, 2024
6d ago