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I guess I don't need to bore you with all this rehashing. You're omnipotent now; the forest and the trees and all the dirt beneath it or something. Does betrayal still sting in heaven? If I don't believe that Jesus rejects those who jump from chairs, which I do not, then I must also question the idea that death is a release from pain. I hope you're thankful that I ask more questions than you did. But in all of your terror and rage, you were just glorious, like a god from some ancient myth, star-crossed with his fate. I wouldn't change you, and I know I couldn't. But I'm trying to ask you something, because my heart still beats and for that reason I am selfish
Apr 11, 2025
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not religious, but tbh reading the Bible or any religious scripture blows me away with how beautiful and significant everything manages to sound. my family is catholic, and we had to go to prayer for a family member's death today. did I do any of the prayers? no.. do all of them probably think I'm a weird queer emo who is going to hell? yes but some of the verses were unironically so TOUGH. made me feel like i should be sitting by a stained glass windows, writing an epic of love and tribulation with a big feather quill.
Mar 13, 2025
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fuck, i'm not even catholic anymore. it won't leave me. someone save me from this hell
Jan 9, 2025
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i have been through my fair share of baptist church induced turmoil in my time and i think my issue wasn’t with the holy spirit, but with the shame and control and hatred from the people around me. and i think by becoming completely independent from those who would seek to morally control me, in that they do not have to power to strip away my basic needs and wellbeing if i were to act against the church, i have solved my immense anxiety around acting freely and speaking my mind. i used to fully disassociate during any religious discussion and now i sometimes participate in prayer, and have less anxiety around extremely religious people- what are they going to do to me? i can stand alone in the world! i have a community of like-minded people who support me! i even have expressed how i feel about the church to my parents so it doesn’t feel like i’m hiding anymore, and even though they are still in denial and that might not be feasible for you, it helped me.
there is definitely an aspect of deeply embedded shame and fear that can’t be reached by independence alone that i think i will be working on for my entire life. that’s ok, it makes me who i am, and certain parts of me that were shaped by the church are strengths. also, no matter how many times someone says you are going to literally burn in hell for eternity, it’s not true. you are not alone, and this too will pass.
May 18, 2025
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I think I'm only attracted to men in theory. I like your little mustache and biceps, your little patchwork tattoo. But like don't touch me, don't come to my house, don't even talk to be tbh
Mar 28, 2025
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Panicked when they asked me what made me unique, and said, I can do the worm. Then I actually did the worm in slacks on the carpet. Pulled something. Made a noise like a deflating balloon. Didn’t get the job!
May 15, 2025
May 16, 2025