Last year, I made a new acquaintance at a house show & learned that she DJ'd on the side! She invited me to a party that she was DJ'ing a few weeks (?) later, so I drove to the address. Apparently it was a random warehouse space in downtown Orlando. There was a huge skateboard ramp in there and t-shirt printing supplies in the back, I think? Watching her play was really fun. At one point she even hooked up a Nintendo D.S. and made a beat on one of the games!!
The parking situation downtown is confusing, so I ended up parking my car in front of the church next door while their nighttime service was going on. The parking lot was full of other cars and there was no signage for towing, so I figured it was fine. There was also a fence around the parking lot, but I didn't notice the gate until I came out of the party and found my car sitting alone there, locked inside. I called the church and the nice guy on the other end said I could pick it up in the morning, so I Uber'd home. The next day, I came to pick up my car and had to wait about half an hour for the church man to get there.
As I was standing there, wearing an outfit that was hardly goth at all, this random guy on the street told me: "I just gotta say, I love your gothic style. I ain't gonna lie, baby, you're gorgeous. I'm sure you got a girlfriend though, right? Okay, well, remember me!" Somehow he clocked me as queer and hit on me at the same time. I decided to wait indoors after that. Eventually I did get my car back, but everything that happened in those 12 hours felt so random.
Mar 25, 2025
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First thing she told me about him was that he had weird style. A 2015 hypebeast who got a gig vibe curating for organic grocery stores. Thatās what she told me about him. She showed me a picture of him where he had his lips all pursed up like he was trying to show off his jawlineā but in a knowing, self-effacing ādonāt I look so silly making this handsome pouty faceā way. Shortly after she asked me to look at this picture & make fun of him & after I had complied, she told me something interesting.
āHeās got this car. Itās a complete, from scratch model of the car from that lindsay Lohan movie herbie, fully loaded.ā
I sat up, cross legged
ānot just the chassis, not just the engine, the whole thing. He found concept art & behind the scenes schematics of herbie. He tracked down each part & made absolute sure to get them as authentically as possible. He didnāt include anything unfaithful to the original vision. He mentioned something about being unable to be unfaithful to it. That working on āHimā, he kept calling the car āHimā, that this was his way of discovering what faith meant.ā
This confused me, so i asked my friend to keep explaining.
āItās likeā hereās the way he put it. Itās like this, you can get a ready made replica of just about any famous car you could dream of jsut by knowing the right people. But a replica is not āHimā. He told me that he had no interest in driving something sold to him with āauthenticityā, itās āfaithfulnessā being a POINT OF SALE.ā
I was intrigued, so I asked her point blank what she thought he got out of the whole thing. She gazed up at the ceiling for a while, I think looking at the same daddylonglegs that I was looking at earlier. The one with the big orb of eggs attached to its thorax. an orb that would burst & bring forth 10 million babydaddylonglegs into my home. After a few moments of spidergazing, she told me this, this is what she told me. Like the words were being sucked from her mouth.
āI donāt know. It might be some weird type of prayer, like heās building himself an idol or a god or a friend or a father or a lover. He told me that when heās inside āHimā, he feels in control. He feels safe. Powerful. His hands are on the wheel & Herbie responds perfectly to everything he does. Thereās no resistance, like Herbie is an extension of his own flesh almost. He insists that he can hear Herbie whisper words of encouragement to him. There was something vaguely sexual about it all. Itās weird Jake, but I couldnāt tell if he was gonna laugh or cry or kiss me. And I wanted him. Badly. It was the most honest a man had ever been with me. I havenāt been able to stop thinking about it.ā
I asked her if she planned on seeing him again.
āI donāt know. Maybe. You know I donāt have a car. Thing is that he lives far away & the drive is kind of a bitch.ā
Dec 16, 2024
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hear me out: youāre out with your girls dancing. the dudes that take up valuable space on the dancefloor to hold their drinks and vaguely nod their heads are long gone, driven out by the fervor. A man twirls his way into your group.
He smells good and his hair is in beautifully oiled ringlets. He has the vaguely sad look of an Eastern European gay porn star. He calls you āgirlyā and cheers you on. You allow him to lovingly feed you a starburst that he seems to produce out of thin air, his fingers almost in your mouth. He passes you a colorful little vial, and you gratefully go to town.
This, you feel as the poppers make the blood rush to your head, is the beginning of something beautiful.
Outside, during the collective smoke break, someone jokingly refers to the group as girls and gays. āOh,ā this beautiful man says in a clear, lilting voice, āIām not gay but I WISH I was.ā Then he asks one of your friends if she wants to go home with him.
Ladies, has this happened to you? šš
Apr 7, 2024
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I was at the bar and my friend was telling me about this girl that her friend had a crush on and the description sounded vaguely familiar so I asked them to show me her Instagram and she pulled it up and put it on the table. I scrolled through to find a good picture and said āyes I do know her sheās-ā¦right thereā and I looked up and she was running towards me and I screamed her name and we hugged and made a huge scene. Definitely not slick wingman wise but I couldnāt help it because of how much of a coincidence it was.
This girl was constantly on tour up and down the east coast and never in town really so we barely saw each other but always had a good time whenever we did. It was so random and felt cosmic. I introduced her to my friends and she hung out for a bit. Someoneās far away, āunattainableā Instagram crush popping up at the table, as soon shes brought up. It was so cool, Iāll never forget it.
Mar 29, 2024
Top Recs from @gforce2001
I love doing collages, cuz all you really need are magazine cutouts and glue. There's a very low barrier to entry, skill-wise AND supply-wise, unlike painting. Digital collages are fun too, but I try to have less screentime by doing the paper ones. If I want to re-use pieces instead of gluing them down permanently, sometimes I'll just take a picture of the current arrangement to immortalize it, and then start over on a new composition. That way, I don't have to constantly buy new magazines to get new cutouts. This is one of my favorite ones I've done so far:
Aug 22, 2024
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This is the only thing that keeps me sane at work. It's so slow right now. If anyone is wondering why I've posted like 9 times today.
Mar 9, 2025
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i always get stuck choosing which stuff to watch/read/get into next when i look at my huge former watchlists & TBR's. a lot of items are things i put on there years ago and never got around to, so usually by the time i check the list again, my tastes have totally changed. i realized it was hard to get myself excited or motivated about half the stuff i put on there anymore, but i felt indebted to knocking it out anyway just because it was on the list. i'd recommend letting your current feelings/impulses take the wheel, and trust that you'll come back around to any of the other options if they're right for you later on.
Apr 18, 2024