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when I was a kid my mom would let us get special magazines and books for upcoming vacations but wouldn’t let us read them until the trip. or we’d get our back to school clothes but weren’t allowed to wear them until the first day of school. at the time I hated it but you know what? she had a point! it made them feel that much more special and magical. I’m going on vacation next month and I have new clothes and a new book that I’m not allowing myself to touch until my trip starts :)
Mar 24, 2025
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this is something my parents often talk about when they talk about their parenting "style"...
basically when we were little and a new hot toy/gadget/thing came out, they would hold off on buying it on principle. If a few months went by and I still wanted the thing (likely bc I had played with it at someone else's house) then they would become open to the possibility and potentially let me get it (not always).
They said they wanted to teach us to develop our own tastes, and not be impulsive with our money when we were older. Tbh I think it worked well, I often only participate in a trend if I really like it and think I'll wear it past the trend cycle.
Feb 18, 2024
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Technically I’m using this term wrong—it’s from the “marshmallow experiment” (iykyk). But in the last year, I have been developing a stronger muscle for delayed gratification as a counter to instant gratification. We live in a very wild moment in modernity / late-stage capitalism where seemingly everything we desire (to own, to know) is at our fingertips. And I’m not entirely convinced we were meant to live like this. Yearning, waiting, longing for something, being patient—these are an important part of the human experience. So why deny ourselves the distinct pleasure of waiting for or working toward something by instantly having it? Slowing down is very very good for us and part of what keeps me going.
Here are some ways I practice my delayed gratification:
🕐 film photography, it takes a long while to finish a roll and more time to get the pictures developed
⏲️ borrowing media from the library (bonus points for requesting the library purchase something for me, then hoping and waiting with no guarantee)
🕰️ buying myself a present and then not opening it until the right moment. both of the gold charms that i wear daily i waited a couple of months to open to mark major life milestones
⏰ making sourdough bread. i have to decide three days in advance that i want to bake it and start feeding my starter so she’s ready to bake with.
⏱️ keeping a wishlist instead of buying something the second i want it. this gives me time to consider the purpose it serves, determine if i already own something similar (especially clothing), figure out if i can get by borrowing it (books! music! tools!), and ultimately save up for it. also our shopping impulses are often a response to something deeper inside of us, which is how we often accumulate so much stuff!
💌 sending letters / having pen pals, which gives us the chance to slow down our responsiveness and availability. i love anticipating their letters and sitting down to draft my own.
🪷 having an orchid in my house. she blooms once a year, but i nurture her throughout the year to reach that moment each spring.
Mar 25, 2025
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i used to have to wait to get things and it was so much more rewarding, now i spoil myself, if i want something i buy it. (trying to work on this a lot)
Feb 22, 2025
Top Recs from @jbsparkle
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I love being a nosy bitch
Apr 5, 2025
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I went to the Korean spa for the first time with my bestie last night and it was a profoundly nourishing experience on every level. we were having deep heart to hearts while schvitzing it out in the sauna and it felt like my soul was being cleansed. there are these tubs of different temperatures and this basin full of mugwort water with empty bowls so you can pour it over yourself, and all these magical heated rooms with different scents and properties. I also saw people carrying giant bottles of spa water with chopped mango and mint and they were like $20 each but they looked sooo good. next time I also want to go to the Korean restaurant inside and the tea room.
Feb 8, 2025
this movie really defined an entire formative era of my life. I was an awkward frizzy-haired tween with glasses when this came out and I saw so much of myself in Mia. my best friend and I had the soundtrack basically memorized (Aaron Carter’s cover of Itty Bitty Little Pretty One lives rent free in my head, as does Miracles Happen by Myra). the love interest Michael (aka Robert Schartzman of Rooney fame) imprinted on my eros and continues to influence my type in masc women to this day. the movie also led me to the (superior if I’m being honest) book series, which played a HUGE role in shaping my taste and sense of humor and interest in pop culture references
Mar 11, 2025