this is something my parents often talk about when they talk about their parenting "style"...
basically when we were little and a new hot toy/gadget/thing came out, they would hold off on buying it on principle. If a few months went by and I still wanted the thing (likely bc I had played with it at someone else's house) then they would become open to the possibility and potentially let me get it (not always).
They said they wanted to teach us to develop our own tastes, and not be impulsive with our money when we were older. Tbh I think it worked well, I often only participate in a trend if I really like it and think I'll wear it past the trend cycle.
Feb 18, 2024
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Technically I’m using this term wrong—it’s from the “marshmallow experiment” (iykyk). But in the last year, I have been developing a stronger muscle for delayed gratification as a counter to instant gratification. We live in a very wild moment in modernity / late-stage capitalism where seemingly everything we desire (to own, to know) is at our fingertips. And I’m not entirely convinced we were meant to live like this. Yearning, waiting, longing for something, being patient—these are an important part of the human experience. So why deny ourselves the distinct pleasure of waiting for or working toward something by instantly having it? Slowing down is very very good for us and part of what keeps me going.
Here are some ways I practice my delayed gratification:
🕐 film photography, it takes a long while to finish a roll and more time to get the pictures developed
⏲️ borrowing media from the library (bonus points for requesting the library purchase something for me, then hoping and waiting with no guarantee)
🕰️ buying myself a present and then not opening it until the right moment. both of the gold charms that i wear daily i waited a couple of months to open to mark major life milestones
⏰ making sourdough bread. i have to decide three days in advance that i want to bake it and start feeding my starter so she’s ready to bake with.
⏱️ keeping a wishlist instead of buying something the second i want it. this gives me time to consider the purpose it serves, determine if i already own something similar (especially clothing), figure out if i can get by borrowing it (books! music! tools!), and ultimately save up for it. also our shopping impulses are often a response to something deeper inside of us, which is how we often accumulate so much stuff!
💌 sending letters / having pen pals, which gives us the chance to slow down our responsiveness and availability. i love anticipating their letters and sitting down to draft my own.
🪷 having an orchid in my house. she blooms once a year, but i nurture her throughout the year to reach that moment each spring.
Mar 25, 2025
💭
going through my old clothes before getting new ones, believing i can stick to a budget, stretching, learning to stay the course when trying new foods
Mar 27, 2025
🗝
when I was a kid my mom would let us get special magazines and books for upcoming vacations but wouldn’t let us read them until the trip. or we’d get our back to school clothes but weren’t allowed to wear them until the first day of school. at the time I hated it but you know what? she had a point! it made them feel that much more special and magical. I’m going on vacation next month and I have new clothes and a new book that I’m not allowing myself to touch until my trip starts :)
Mar 24, 2025
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feral.........
Feb 20, 2024
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Last year my new year's resolution was to get hotter. To this day it is the best resolution I've ever made, because feeling hot forces you to be embodied.
In 2023 I genuinely put time and energy into considering my corporeal form. What cuts of clothing make me feel powerful? What colors? What fabrics do I like to feel on my skin? What hairstyles accentuate my bone structure? What physical activity could I actually sustain and enjoy? How does my body feel energetically when I eat certain foods?
It brought me out of a haze of digital overwhelm; I was no longer an avatar but a living, breathing, sweating, dancing, fucking human. Consider getting hotter today!
Feb 19, 2024
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Become the bubbe you always dreamed of being ❣️
Some phrases to get you started:
Chutzpah - a Yiddish classic, "panache", guts, grit, spunk
Schlep - also a classic, meaning to lug a bunch of stuff around
Kvetch - to whine / complain. This is very important.
Schmooze - Being able to schmooze is the most important life skill: making chit chat and buttering people up along the way.
Mishegas - Craziness. It's very helpful to blame everything on mishegas...
Feb 23, 2024