❤️🩹
I lost my sweet old man dog in February and I will never miss an opportunity to talk about him. Im so thankful for the people in my life who don’t feel like they have to tip toe about asking about Jack and how I’m doing, it’s worse to pretend like I’m not grieving and dance around it. He existed and I love sharing about him
Mar 23, 2025
Related Recs
⚱️
this is something i feel really strongly about to improve all of our lives and grieving processes. especially for Americans, it’s an enduring taboo that talking about death is too dark, too bummer, too disturbed. i think this renders all of us without a roadmap or community when, inevitably, someone dear to us dies.
practicing talking about it, building a distress tolerance to it, learning about other people’s experiences with death, are all some of the things that have helped me the most since my brother’s death. it truly is the most universal great mystery and i think we’d all be better for it to walk through it together.
❤️
Feb 14, 2025
😃
man i thought this would be obvious but recently my best friend lost her mother. i was trying to think of other instances before hand when I had to be there for someone & couldn’t pin point something that felt …. I don’t know, something other than “im sorry” , something that felt really sufficient.
while I understand that physically just being there for someone is helpful, when I was reading about this I didnt realize there are things that aren’t helpful & things that are more helpful to say to someone, with some not being super obvious
For example, Asking “what do you need from me” didnt make the cut as being helpful. I couldn’t pin point if I used this phrase before previously, but this one might not have been as obvious.
Reading about it was super helpful honestly. Could apply to any situation, not just limited to death. If someone you know is grieving, think about your response! I’m excited to take what I learned into future similar situations & happy to learn how to support my loved ones through difficult times
Sep 19, 2024
It's been a week since my brother Jacob passed. He was the last person I expected to go—an extremely active cyclist, hiker, and traveler. We still don't know what exactly happened, but in a matter of only half an hour he went from making his breakfast to his heart stoping.
So many of his traits I admired so much felt like things I lacked; he was disciplined, reliable, and energetic. He traveled the world and made friends across the whole globe, it seems. He was always adept at math, a subject I always struggled with.
He was only 18 months my junior. I literally can't remember my life without Jacob in it. At some points in our childhood he felt like my shadow. Since we were homeschooled during the early years of my life we spent so much time together. I took that for granted, but now I'm so grateful for all the hours of fort building, hole digging, camping, biking, basketball, getting destroyed by him playing NBA Live and womping on him in Mortal Kombat.
I really regret simply assuming he knew how much I loved him. We were brothers. We fought, argued, and teased each-other. He was such an appendage to my day-to-day that I didn't ever stop to tell him how dear he was to me, how proud I was of all he'd done, how grateful I was for all he contributed around the house and with the family, and how jealous I was of his fearlessness with change and travel.
People ask how I'm holding up, and it's hard to answer because—all things considered— I am doing alright. The hardest times are when my brain and nervous system still haven't realized he's gone: hearing the creak of a door and expecting him to walk in after a bike ride—his cycling shoes clinking on the tile; learning some soccer news and wanting to text him about it; feeling eager to get his feedback on something I cooked.
But the most difficult thing has been encountering the pity and sorrow people have shown toward me, because that somehow reveals the scope of the loss and the depth to which folks cared about him and care about me. Knowing we share some impacts of this loss breaks my heart. I so deeply appreciate all the offers of help and reaching out, and yet I have nothing to offer. I have nothing for which to ask. My brain just short-circuits.
Perhaps the best thing you can do for me is to let your loved ones know how you feel. Find one person you have maybe taken for granted and share your love clearly so that they truly know how much you treasure them because they won't always be around.
May 6, 2024
Top Recs from @stof
Mar 16, 2025
🤝
i will literally always stop someone who is hogging a conversation when someone has been trying to say something—what you have to say is important and I care 😤
Mar 17, 2025
I can’t believe it’s a debut and not a single song is a skip. They‘re referenced several times in the MF DOOM biography and it‘s funny how much the “your favorite artist’s favorite artist” rings true for them
Mar 8, 2025