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I’m trying to pinpoint what is making me so uncomfortable about the discourse around modest dressing. The common thought is that modesty is an indicator of rising conservatism, but right now, I see the trends as a correlation that does not imply causation. A lot of the current modest silhouettes started in queer, leftist spaces. I remember the rise of “cottage core” around 2020 was largely led by lesbians. Women in flowy milkmaid dresses foraging for herbs and berries in a hazy forest. It felt like a movement reclaiming the femininity of mother nature after enduring so much masculine energy from the political onslaught being fed to us. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the menswear trend can also be attributed to queer women. It’s inherently liberal for a woman to wear men’s clothing.
Maybe it’s a case of intention vs impact. Or of Kristin Stewart vs Chanel.
I also have opinions on how this general rise in conservatism is a response to the constant overstimulation of American society. People are resorting to an “every man for themselves” rhetoric, sacrificing empathy for comfort. This has translated into the trad-wife idolization. What’s more comfortable than being a trophy wife. I understand that fashion reflects the political climate, so I see what’s happening. I only wish there was more nuance to the discussion. Modesty is not inherently red.
Mar 17, 2025
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this is eloquently written and so correct.... also love the mention of kristen stewart vs chanel
@HAILEYD4WN no I love itttt I have struggled with wrapping my head around this a lot
@TATERHOLE same, it’s like every thought contradicts the one before it. I wish I had an iq of one million
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article dissecting the cultural messaging and changes in modern popular lingerie (from parade to victorias secret) and contrasting the 2010s corporate girlboss messaging with vibe shift of the 2020s:
"Eroticism is incongruous with sight. It’s all about hidden pleasures, mystery, masquerade, freedom, secrecy. Lingerie is not secret; it is a sexual offering, an altar made from visible blessings. True eroticism comes from what cannot be seen, predicted, sensed, or divined. Eroticism carries an essential risk. Lingerie has no risk. It is as plain as a donut.
It is in that, then, that we see other things bloom in quiet popularity: Brandy Melville pajamas; satin Comme Si boxer shorts; big t-shirts over panties; and, of course, women online lusting after Nicole Kidman’s Egyptian cotton pointelle tank top set from Eyes Wide Shut — a movie that came out 24 years ago, but still feels new in its approach to eroticism."
Feb 22, 2024
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And choice feminism turned it into a matter of individuality rather than systemic issues, while also making it essentially forbidden to critique anything and positioning any criticism as an act of internalized misogyny. As a society we also take for granted the rights women gained (not even that long ago!), and dismiss the ways less privileged women are still exploited. And when feminism became associated with “sexual empowerment“ that ultimately serves the male gaze (ex free the nipple), we reinforced the societal value of beneficial sexism, and feminism had to be sexy. Pop feminism is no longer a materialist ideology. This has all led us to the current Evie Magazine right wing trad-wife backlash…
All of that is to say that I’m here 😜🫶 lol but I actually love Sara Petersen’s Substack and through her you can discover a lot of other really amazing writers
Jan 15, 2025
@mothersuperior post on latex and the yearndemic reminded me of this essay that I read a few years ago about the commodification and fetishization of the body and how it’s been paralleled with a lack of chemistry and sexuality that we used to see on screen. The title is your tldr: everyone is hot and no one is horny. The sterilization of sexuality and sex is everywhere, past even film. It’s a response to the acceleration of capitalism, war and colonial extraction of the earth. It has crept into the ways we view ourselves, our experience and our bodies.
One thing I took away from this essay is that to align yourself with traditional beauty standards will make you too tired to fuck. Similarly, the whole « working on yourself » grind that I heard on first dates all the time is this strange, individualistic perspective that makes you too exhausted and distracted for the holistic chemistry we desire. We flatten our lives to marketable lines that make us appear attractive - I’m working on myself, I’ve been going to therapy, I have a nice job and apartment. And while people are obviously horny, they don’t know for what - forming our bodies to be better, our minds fixed and correct, we can’t pinpoint what the purpose is cause we’re too fucking exhausted to investigate further than that. Love, desire, and chemistry feel more and more elusive.
For us to morph ourselves into the image of sexiness according to western beauty standards, there is sacrifice (nutrients, your current corporeal form, the ability to be perceived as more than an object, working long hours for your grind) that doesn’t align with sensuality (unless you’re into that). There is no room for the spectrum of sensations you body is capable of feeling. There is no room for desire when we’ve given it all up the capitalist war machine. :p
Mar 10, 2025
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