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BEACH TIPS FROM AN HONORARY MERMAID

my credentials: grew up on an island, get stressed when landlocked, like shiny things and sing for a job. 1. listen to the local tide guides: if you think it looks a little rough out it probably is. if you aren’t taught properly how to get out of rip currents and haven’t done any survival swimming practice please be careful!!! some places may use different colour coded flags or there are life guards to tell you what’s up but if not it’s not a bad opt to look online. 2. leave your bathroom towels at home: canga all the way. there’s a lot of advantages of bringing a canga rather than a towel to the beach (canga being like a thin large piece of fabric). firstly, it picks up way way way less sand than a regular beach towel and it also is thinner and easier to bring around. it also is usually at least double the size of a standard towel so you can share with a friend or use it to keep your items safe from sand. 3. keep your devices safe: use a ziplock bag for your phone and headphones and all that because there’s nothing worse than ur phone not charging because there’s a grain of sand in the charging port. 4. everything shower?: its a known fact that the ocean will make you prettier. here’s what i do to ensure that’s the case: exfoliation and rehydration. the natures body scrub is at your disposal so use it. nothing better than feeling your skin smooth after a day at the beach. another thing i do is after i get my hair wet in the ocean i bring some conditioner and put it in my hair and let it sit in my hair until i go home. honestly it is the best feeling. (results vary on how clean the water and sand is ofc) 5. beware of the wildlife: if you are at all at risk of swimming near the homes of physically superior creatures beware of what your wearing. although it pains me, sometimes we have to go function over fashion. wearing jewelry or beaded / shiny swimming costume is not wise in shark territory as they are quite literally the magpies of the ocean. i am sharks no. 1 fan but i don’t wanna get bitten by one so let’s think critically. 6. media: beach days are big for listening to albums you haven’t got to and reading the rest of that book on your shelf. really try to connect to what you want to consume and be intentional about it. i usually come to the beach with a book, one or two albums downloaded, a notebook and pen. for inspo my recent beach album was islands by kajagoogo, and if you are really after a playlist i’ve got them locked and loaded if wanted! 7. water water water; bring as big of a bottle of water as humanly possible. you will want it. QUICK FIRE: best sunscreen is P20 for legs and more sun tolerant areas. for the face it really depends on your skin type as many have spf in their daily routines but ensure it’s 50 or above! (sidenote Hawaiian tropic and vacation are super cute brands but i’m not 100% certain on effectiveness as i have less sensitive skin to sunburn and so on) snacks: personally big on fruit at the beach, pomegranate seeds are great and nuts are good for keeping energy. i would also recommend checking out restaurants and stalls on / next to the beach to support the community and also not worry about the hassle of bringing the whole shebang to the beach. (results vary on how expensive the area is!) when the party’s over and the sun is down it’s not a bad opt to keep like an oversized men’s shirt with you. 1st it will keep you warm. 2nd it doesn’t pick up sand. 3rd if you feel yourself getting red in the sun you can throw it on too. when you get home try your best to ensure you won’t catch a cold or anything! try get water out your ears and take a warm / hot shower and take it easy for the rest of the day. even though beach days are relaxing they are physically taxing at times. when i’m not listening to albums im listening to this playlist if you were strapped for choice: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0AnmMg2UCJX5JVP0TNNv5c?si=GmpbRoYsRimKzJJkqigwtA&pi=sGN9MOe9QqOyW these are all my tips off the top of my head so i might keep editing with more. sorry if this was too lengthy! just glad to share on a topic i love 🧘🏽‍♀️

@llq

4d ago

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LIVING BY THE OCEAN AND SMELLING THE WATER

i will never settle down somewhere that is not next to an ocean i will never be land locked for a long period of time i will always be most comfortable within an hour driving range of the ocean one time on a road trip to nevada as a kid i overheard the gas station lady saying she had only seen the ocean 3 times and it was the saddest thing i had ever heard i thought about it for the rest of the trip some people will never see the ocean and some people only a few times the ocean and shore and the smell and the experience are the most stable thing i can call home and will always give me That Feeling

@cloudporn

4d ago

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Surfing

I don’t actually want you to surf. Already there are too many surfers. If you do try surfing, you will not look cool—you will look like a kook. The worst look in the world. After years of embarrassment, maybe, maybe you will learn to ride a wave without looking like a kook. Still, the ocean will try to kill you constantly because, fundamentally, you remain a kook. But being so close to death where life on Earth started will cause you to reassess your place in the natural world. You will never dump your petroleum lube down a storm drain that leads to the ocean. You will never eat goosefish because it’s in the red on Seafoodwatch.org. You will learn to laugh at yourself, because in one way or another, we’re all kooks flailing to keep from drowning. On second thought, I actually do want you to start surfing. If you’re in Los Angeles hit me up, I have an extra board you can borrow.

@jon-lindsey

Apr 3, 2023

Top Recs from @carmen-christopher

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Picking up the damn phone

Stop texting so much. Call your friend, or anyone. A phone call can be so much faster and efficient. Especially when you’re trying to make plans. There’s so much communication that’s lost when you don’t hear someone’s tone. Listen, I was a salesman before I worked in the entertainment biz and I spent eight hours a day on the phone. Cold calling. It was disgusting. But if there’s anything I learned, it’s that if you want to close a deal it starts with picking up the phone.

@carmen-christopher

Mar 21, 2025

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Homemade Rice Krispie Treats

Stop fucking around and put some marshmallows in your system. Stop buying that store-made shit. Rice Krispie treats are a perfect snack. Give some to your neighbors and friends, they’ll be grateful. You don’t know how much you love these until you make them at home. They're also super easy to make. They’ll turn on your lover too. You might be in store for the best sex of your life. 

@carmen-christopher

Mar 21, 2025

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The Chicago Bears

I’m obsessed with this football team. When they win I’m happy. When they lose my day is totally fucked.  This past season was particularly tough. We lost like five games in the last few seconds. It was brutal. But the future is bright because we have Caleb Williams, a star QB who paints his fingernails.  Growing up in Chicago my dad was a big Bears fan. He would throw shit at the TV and get pissed. It’s probably in my blood. I appreciate football because it’s a true team sport. All eleven guys on the field need to contribute in order to succeed. I was on my high school team and I rode the bench, but our team went 11-1 in both my junior and senior years. It was my first time being part of something successful. We once had a game where 10,000 people attended.  The whole town shut down it was insane. CLTV helicopters were there. We were a small school, but a lot of our guys got college scholarships, and one guy went to the NFL. So uh yea, football rules (minus the CTE). Da Bears.

@carmen-christopher

Mar 21, 2025