Rec | AS A DOG RETURNETH TO HIS VOMIT, SO A FOOL RETURNETH TO H...

🪦

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly

I’ll be candid here. I hate the dating app. I hate myself when I use the dating app. I hate the cutesy little prompts, I hate MARKETING myself. I hate the people on the dating apps, and I hate myself even more for hating these people, because they’re probably good people just looking for connection just like me. “Just like me.” How disgusting. Just acknowledging that right there fills me up with this acid reflux bile that I can’t shake. The dating app is inherently antisocial. I don’t care that it’s the norm now, that doesn’t magically make it prosocial. You know what else is a norm right now? Mass insemination of cattle via automated semen guns shooting frozen seed into these poor cows that have never seen the light of day, that can’t begin to fathom the complex constructed around shooting frozen seed into their cow uteruses so they can give birth to calves that they will never nurse. Taking those calves & chaining them to the ground from the moment they’re born so their meat is tender when they are turned into veal. 20 years ago the idea of meeting people on the internet was rightfully scorned as the pursuit of perverts & malcontents. The ”match” system, trying to offload the pain of rejection to this incredibly diffuse open market where you only get feedback if it’s positive. It’s all so cowardly. Christ, theyre selling us an analgesic for our cowardice. And I don’t know, I think if you’re going to pursue someone, really go after them, you have to abandon your pride, your shame, and the things that turn you yellow. Yeah yeah you start talking and dating and then eventually you have to do the actually important and courageous thing and open yourself up to someone else or whatever. Don’t care, the set-up bothers me on a spiritual level. So anyway, I just got back on the apps this week. I really think it’s gonna go down different this time.

@steelyfan1998

Feb 27, 2025

see likes

Comments (10)

Make an account to reply.

@choc_orange

this was beautiful. pure, raw honesty 🙌🙌

Feb 27, 2025

@steelyfan1998

choc_orange im glad you liked it, thank you

Feb 27, 2025

@taterhole

God LOL. You really have a way with words. Good luck soldier 🫡

Feb 27, 2025

@steelyfan1998

taterhole as always, thank you doc. i always know that if nobody got me taterhole got me fr

Feb 27, 2025

@taterhole

steelyfan1998 period

Feb 27, 2025

@valoorie

I am one of those people who shows up on the apps every few weeks and my profile says “new here” because I’ve just deleted my account and reappeared. It’s so embarrassing and terrible. But I have such a hard time meeting people. I’ve talked to my therapist about the apps and honestly I think she still finds them useful for me. The problem is I too hate the apps and really hate how I am when I use them. It’s so discouraging. And I’ll match with people, envision my life with them (this is a bad thing obviously, I need to work on this) but then I get ghosted and devastated and existential. Then I delete and the cycle starts all over again. It’s so so awful.

Feb 27, 2025

@steelyfan1998

valoorie that's terrible. i really think the apps are a psychoweapon to terrorize the sensitive in disposition.

Feb 27, 2025

@valoorie

steelyfan1998 incredibly well put, I agree 100% !!!!

Feb 27, 2025

@emmmmuh

Bro why do u like get me. I feel kind of sick inside every time I get them, see the same people on there every time, I feel myself being pulled further and further from myself with every interaction I have the performance grows deeper. and yet every couple months I’m like hmmmm but what if??? I think the balls of approaching someone with the intention that you want to take them out or pursue any kind of anything with them evade me, even though i find It extremely attractive. You’re a great writer I feel like that response could be on its own a great opinion piece on online dating

Feb 27, 2025

@steelyfan1998

emmmmuh you're very kind, thank you for saying that. i think those balls evade all of us naturally. if they came easy, they wouldn't be balls.

Feb 27, 2025

Related Recs

📜

The existential dread sparked from using dating apps

Everyone disappoints me in ways unimaginable. I’m honestly aghast and disturbed by the men I have encountered on these godforsaken apps. And the worst part of it all is that now I’m spiraling about the concept of true love, family, and motherhood. What a wonderful way to end my work week. The moral of the story is listen to what everyone tells you: just stop using the apps. It’s never going to work.

@valoorie

Feb 14, 2025

🤷

idk man it’s tough out there

I linked a rec I made over a year ago about deleting hinge and dating the old fashioned way. have I been on a single date since then? nope. do I stand by what I said? absolutely. I’m still convinced that the apps aren’t perfect, and while they might work for some people they’re kind of a necessary evil at best. without them, it’s hard to put yourself in contexts where meeting someone organically is possible. and even then, within those contexts the meeting has to be just that: organic. it takes time. it takes being in places/situations regularly where you think you’ll meet people who share your interests/values. it also takes a bit of effort to initiate those interactions, and also fate that someone might initiate something with you. the apps are a convenient, quick fix, instant gratification solution to the issue in that they will get you dates, but in exchange for quantity you may sacrifice on quality. things of quality have no fear of time, though. waiting to encounter someone who is a good fit and in a good phase of life to be what you need and vice versa is going to take time. and if you work a 9-5 like I do, you’re going to have to invest in putting yourself in situations to meet people in your free time.

@royallmonarch

Mar 11, 2025

🦪

What does it mean to code an intimate connection?

2020 article analyzing the UX, ethics, and psychology of The Apps™️. Sharlene Gandhi of AOGA Eye on Design meditates upon the troubling amount of data these apps collect on us and how said data is being used, unconscious biases and algorithmic designs that influence how we use The Apps ™️, and the rise of the "Responsible Dating App." The idea that jumped out to me in this article was the music based data app. The app matches you based on your Spotify and Apple Music listening history because, as the founder of the app Mohil Sheth states, there's a problem with people lying on their profiles but it's hard to fake music data because "you wouldn't listen to songs you don't like." This article made me wonder if the best thing to do is to get off The Apps ™️ all together--I've personally only used Bumble for about 5 hours and then swiftly deleted it--because of the facade of interaction they provide. they make you THINK that you meeting all these people and having all these great conversations and improving your dating life when in reality you aren't putting yourself out there and developing social skills. but at the same time, I understand why people use them; rejection is easier to take from behind a screen, you have the perception of more opportunity for connection, and you can highly curate your appearance. It also made me wonder if it's even possible to have a "Responsible Dating App"...to me the term feels contradictory.

@veggiedumpling

Mar 3, 2024

Top Recs from @steelyfan1998

⭐

reading through all your old recs

sometimes you just need to read some real shit straight from the realest person you know .

@steelyfan1998

Feb 24, 2025

🪱

Writhing

@steelyfan1998

Mar 4, 2025

🌞

daylight savings IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER

I LOVE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS I LOVE THE LIGHT I LOVE GOING FOR A HIKE AFTER WORK AND HOW WATER LOOKS IN THE WARM DUSK THANK YOU DAYLIGHT SAVINGS----- I HAPPILY SACRIFICE AN HOUR OF SLEEP COME THIS TIME OF THE YEAR WAKING TO THE SUNSHINE JABBING ME EYE----- IF YOU DON'T FUCK WITH DAYLIGHT SAVINGS UNFOLLOW ME I DONT FUCK WITH YOU----- THE GREATEST BETRAYAL OF MY ADULT LIFE WAS WHEN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA VOTED FOR PERMANENT DAY LIGHT SAVINGS ALL THE TIME AND THE COWARDS THAT RUN THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A STATE FAILED TO IMPLEMENT ETERNAL SUMMER

@steelyfan1998

Mar 4, 2025