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it’s either guilt of messaging someone who is despondent or messaging someone who is disconnected.
i’m losing my mind on my own.
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I understand completely, the past few years for me have been learning how to face things alone and not burden people who are going through as much or more. it is really really hard to deal with things by yourself
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i am flattered that my friends want to talk to me, but it’s a stimulation overload. like, my attention is being demanded at any time of the day without consent. the messages pile up, people sending me memes or check up messages or trying to organise events on group chats or even just asking when i am free to hang out. and it happens all at once, from all different people. my time feels obligated to someone else because i have to make time to reply or find time to see that person.
i leave people on delivered for days because i don’t have the stamina to engage in conversation that was basically demanded out of me during my day. i love my friends, but text messaging has allowed people to infiltrate your personal time at any point of the day, removing time away from yourself and worrying about when to reply or what to say back.
it’s a lot, and im overwhelmed by it. sometimes, it makes me just want to fall off the grid.
Jan 27, 2025
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okay i got some really amazing advice from fellow piffers a few weeks back when i was drowning with texts AND felt like a dick for telling my friends and family that getting their messages made me want to kms lol. but being honest about how i felt is super helpful so i don’t become a ball of rage. usually in a more gentle way, but being honest that texting isn’t a great way to connect with me is v important to foregrounding my relationships nowadays.
do not disturb really helped me take away from feeling constantly available to people. i see their texts when i get the time to, not when they *need* or *want* me to. removing the feeling of being obligated to someone’s messages has made me feel less awful about texts and calls. esp bc i am busy so often that their messages used to interrupt my day, my flow, my viiibbbee.
still trying to figure out why relationships feel like obligations to me rn… i feel like that is the core issue of my rage/anxiety feelings from texts and calls.
Nov 19, 2024
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sometimes u forget to answer messages and that’s ok!
Feb 6, 2024
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hi, i have very little friends, which most i don’t always get to talk to frequently.
i feel like i do not hold significance in other people’s lives, and it makes me wonder what is wrong with me and why is it difficult for me to sustain friendships in which i don’t have to question them or spiral over my interactions with. i wonder if i’ll ever get to a point in being able to act and talk freely with a friend without concern and have my presence be enjoyed. for now, it feels like i am chasing dying sparks. how do people have their people?
Feb 25, 2025