Since the first time I watched Billy Wilder's 1959 film Some Like It Hot, Marilyn Monroe's first line, a breathy, black& white whisper, haunted me:
"I'm 25 years old, that's a quarter of a century. Really makes a girl think."
At twelve, I believed that by 25 I would look like Marilyn Monroe and also be on the cusp of getting married like her character, Sugar. At twelve, I believed 25 meant you were an adult, doing exciting adult things
like having money to spend on wants (not just needs),
and looking at buying a home,
and working in a high power firm,
and getting accolades for how incredible I was,
and getting ready for the rest of my life.
But I turned 25 yesterday and none of that came true. What a scam.
A quarter of a century really does make a girl think. I don't want the life I imagined at twelve, but something is still missing from my life right now. I just moved to a new city, dyed my hair red and -here's the best part- applied for unemployment on my birthday!! Who knew that wifi-bills were so expensive and that I probably won't buy Cabot Cheese again untl I'm in my 30's (Seriously, I'm concerned why store-brand cheese is so much cheaper...are we even eating dairy?) I'm feeling untethered and foggy on what comes next, and if there's anything I do still want from my pre-teen fantasy life it's direction. Purpose. Sense of self. Confidence. To be getting ready for the rest of my life. Where do I find that now??
But all is not lost. After all there's 364 more days of being 25 and it feels- more than past birthdays- like this really is a fresh new chapter. A complete blank page. I just moved to a new big city! I just dyed my hair! I'm unemployed! Seems as good time as any to start a perfectly imperfect record. Stay tuned.
What about you? What did turning 25 mean to you? Anyone have a leash to help me pull myself back in?
