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My friend keeps on asking me why I'm not going to art school.
Every single class we have together I doodle on my paper and she always looks over and asks me the same question, "why aren't you becoming an art major."
I don't really know how to tell her that that's exactly what my dad did and he had to give up his dreams of being an artist to go into the military because nothing else was working. There just weren't jobs or opportunities for him.
I don't want to live like that. I'm going to keep my passions to myself, keep it a hobby and happily settle for designing houses.
Art school is just sucha risk for me that there's no way I'd ever feel comfortable enough to spend thousands on for school.
I love the compliments though :D
Feb 23, 2025
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I have always adored art ever since I was in preschool. I loved creating characters or even doing my own renditions on characters and movies.
I even took time during lockdown to work on my interest, putting in hours of learning anatomy and structure.
However for a while I've been in a slump of sorts, I've lost creativity and the fuel to continue.
It's been hard, especially since drawing and creating is something I've been putting effort to what seems like eons at this point. I even decided to just quit altogether and pursue something else as a dream career.
There had become a point where my boyfriend gave me a pep talk and to prove his point he had read me a book he wad reading for philosophy called 'The Republic';
"All great things are precarious... Beautiful things really are difficult" and in his own words told me -
"It occurs often throughout the text, anything that is easy will never be beautiful, for if it is easy it won't have the scars and marks of something built through struggle, those scars and marks are the cracks through which beautiful shines most brightly", which I think helped me.
For the past month in my art class I've been researching a style called 'Jugendstil' and got a bit of inspiration again. I want to show off what I made because I'm genuinely happy with my product since a hot minute.
Anyways moral of the story, don't beat yourself up if you don't find something about you or what you make up to your standards, because beautiful things take time.
Feb 27, 2025
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i’m so worried for the future. while i try to just live in the present, i‘m afraid ill never be able to really make it in any art, and it will just be relegated to hobby. i’ve always been an artist, i’ve been writing, and painting, singing, and acting since i was a child. there’s nothing i feel more deeply in my bones than artistry. there is nothing i feel defines me more, i am full of an insatiable providence to engage and really make something. i don’t care what it is, if it’s music, or acting in films, or physical art, i an ordained to act as a vessel for things to be seen. but i understand, its not a career of value, or the industry is competitive, and it breaks my heart to think i may never be able to fully commit myself to it all.
already, i find myself making exceptions, applying as a film studies major, because it would be more versatile, but still allow me to work closely with those circles. if i can’t be within i can stay close. but i will miss it, sidelined, benched.
i guess i’m in early mourning of a dream.
6d ago
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Unfortunately god granted me with the skills to be great at many useless things. For example I could draw a pretty picture or memorize 157 lines for a play.
But now that I have to work a real job I have no idea what is going on. Additionally I am way too sensitive for my own good. This makes learning feel awful.
Today one of my co workers talked down to me in a way that made me absolutely shut down. All I can say is that I was not born to be an office girly. I was born to make pretty pictures, but alas.
Stay strong to all the artsy people forced to work in a field you don’t really vibe with (or with people who make you feel bad inside)!
Mar 5, 2025
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Silent Hill scenery localized in my back yard, courtesy of all the snow storms hitting the Midwest.
Jan 10, 2025
I used to spend every night sitting outside looking up into the night sky trying to find constellations. I used to be so obsessed that I got my Mom to take me to a viewing conservatory with a giant telescope every week so I could see Mars in 4K. When that wasn't enough my mom got me a million and one books on constellations, moons and stars, and how to identify them along with a shiny new high tech telescope.
I haven't used a lot of that stuff in years after we moved unfortunately. I learned very quickly that light pollution is a big issue once you move away from the trailer parks and into the suburbs, and any chance at seeing stars is squashed under someone's giganormous TV shining brighter than a Ford F150's headlights. Straight up archangel Michael coming to take me away during the rapture kind of brightness that these people are using.
However I am nothing if not stubborn! I will find a way to use that big ol' telescope I have and I swear I'm gonna find every constellation, star and planet that passes overhead if it's the last thing I do!
Feb 2, 2025
1d ago