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I Tend to Think Forgiveness Looks the way it does in the movies, hanif abdurraqib

like two white people kissing in the rain & it is always white people kissing in the rain on television & it is a question of hair, I imagine. the things too precious to be given over to the illusion of vulnerability. I have paid my tithes in this church, though. drawing my desires long through a city of millions with wet sneakers & dying flowers exploding from tissue paper & I have emerged from this shrinking heaven half-drowned & with a heart molding at the edges & speaking of the heart, I love most what it is until it decides it isn’t. first a weapon & then not. first a mirror, wherein you see yourself briefly whole & next to someone else who is briefly whole & then not. I am talking about the end of love—how the door closes one night & never re-opens. The coffee mug left with a lover’s unshakable stains in the bottom & the single fork from the infant night in the first shared apartment & all of the relics we have to craft the leash used to keep our misery close. what I meant to say about kissing in the rain is that it seems to be about a mercy that I cannot touch, for what the water has been known to undo & what of myself I might see in the wake of its undoing. Mercy, like the boy pulling back a fist as the small stray dog below him trembles with its eyes shut. Mercy, that boy then walking into the arms of his mother, who once dragged him from a home ransacked by a man’s violence. Mercy, the city unfolding its wide & generous palms over your skin the way a city does when it opens itself up & waits for darkness to pour into its open mouth & you, too, wait for the night to spill itself into your echoing terraces of grief & call you outside & tell you that it is almost your season, darling. it is almost the season of your favorite flower & the burial ground giving way to its tiny  & exploding lips & how they exist for you & no one else

@nadiyaelyse

Mar 27, 2024

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Staying the course

One of my most adored writers, Ingeborg Bachmann (Austrian, Cancerian with strong Capricorn placements, total fucking genius) begins an untitled poem with these lines — translated by Peter Filkins — “don’t you see, my friends, don’t you see! / I have not survived it, nor gotten over it [...]” Simply put and very true — alas, for me, all too true; I think about these words almost daily: for me-myself, who has not so much survived the wounds inflicted by the cruelties of life as much as persisted through them, clinging to my continuance through sheer willpower, it could be almost a personal mantra or verbal leitmotif. Ah, but here-within lies the answer to the question: how does one such as I persist? Well, my friends, through not getting over things, all things, anything, be it good or bad, resolution or injustice. It’s that simple, my friends. If I am wronged, well, then let me steep long in the waters of resentment, biding time until retribution presents itself, no matter how, no matter when. And if I desire, let me desire until that desire is met, by hook or by crook, as they say — or until eternity. These dreams, you see, are what have kept my heart beating all this while … I swear, should ever my course waver, may the Devil strike me down that very instant!

@saoirse-bertram

May 10, 2023

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Sharing my Poems…

2025-03-04 Transition is elegaic—time unspooling, in susurrations, each second echoing— a thousand dying sighs. 2025-03-22 Pain is inheritance— (to unlearn) Healing is whispers— (unnamed)

@brokeboylife

Mar 25, 2025

Top Recs from @Doll

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BEING "NORMAL" IS KILLING YOU

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS NORMAL. Stop trying to be something that you are not, stop trying to be copy-paste <insert substyle that you do not even really like you just don't know who you are if you are not following a trend> for the longest time, I had no identity, I didn't know who I was outside of micro-trends and what was popping off on the internet. I wanted so badly to be normal that everything I tried was slowly but surely killing my spirit. People are clay. We are covered in little fingerprints, little specks of dust, and pieces of lint. No one person is without these things. Normalcy implies that there is a standard, uniform way to mold clay. You can never be normal, and that is so beautiful that's what makes life so worth it. I tried so long to figure out the "normal" way to live life that I missed out on so many things my teenage years are over, and they flew past me. I spent so long trying to be a normal teenager that I forgot that the most important part of this age is trying to figure out who you are by yourself through your actions, through your memories, and through the people around you, not by following what is normal. I will never be normal, and I am so grateful, I will always be ME. My spirit will be unique. My mind will remain creative. I will never be normal, and I don't want to be.

@Doll

Feb 22, 2025

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NO one is coming to save you but they will support you

Often people feel alone when they hear "no one is coming to save you" and yeah it's true, I was the only one who could save myself from the path I was going down, BUT everyone around me supported my growth, everyone who loved me showed me the same love before AND after I had changed. No one will save you but they're right beside you <3

@Doll

Feb 23, 2025

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Use the 20 minute rule

I made this up in like 10 minutes but this has been my thought process as an "ex" introvert Should I Stay or Leave? A Decision Flowchart for Introverts Am I feeling unsafe? Yes → Is it because I’m anxious, or is it a genuinely unsafe situation?If anxious/new: Wait 20 minutes to see if I acclimate.If still feeling unsafe after 20 minutes → Leave. No → Move to the next step. Am I feeling bored? Yes → Can I find something interesting here?Yes → Engage with that.No → Suggest a more interesting activity.Did they change the activity?Yes → Stay and reassess.No → Stay for 20 more minutes.Still bored? → Leave. No → Move to the next step. Am I feeling uncomfortable? Yes → Is it a normal level of discomfort?Yes → Give it 20 minutes and reassess.No → Leave. No → Stay. A reminder: Many people say, "Get comfortable being uncomfortable," but society often acts like being an introvert is a flaw, as if no normal person could be one. While it's good to challenge yourself, forcing yourself into situations that make you feel awful or completely uninterested isn’t good for your mental health. Uncomfortable situations can help you grow, but if something makes you truly miserable, you should remove yourself. The best way to step out of your comfort zone is to understand why you’re introverted. I grew up introverted because I wasn’t allowed to do much, but pushing myself outside my comfort zone helped me explore my personality. However, if you’re naturally introverted, there’s no reason to force change. Instead, I recommend using a system to decide when to stay in a situation and when to leave—like a simple flowchart to guide your choices.

@Doll

Feb 22, 2025

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