Speaking to a friendship aspect: finding my people was initially exhilarating. Being seen and accepted, feeling joyful and excited to spend time together, feeling like a team in the world rather than competitors are all things my first experiences with my best friends felt like. But there were also points where we pissed each other off or hurt each other or grew apart. what set apart these Friendships was being able to talk about it and wanting to be open about our hurt or anger. We reciprocally put in work to stay connected. I could trust my friends would listen to me and try to do better. i could Also trust that I would be forgiven when I needed to do better. To this day, they are the most transformative relationships I’ve had in adulthood and I’m always so grateful for them.
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thank you for this reminder. real love always takes work but it shouldn’t be hard just to be in those relationships. love this sentiment.
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Speaking to a friendship aspect: finding my people was initially exhilarating. Being seen and accepted, feeling joyful and excited to spend time together, feeling like a team in the world rather than competitors are all things my first experiences with my best friends felt like. But there were also points where we pissed each other off or hurt each other or grew apart. what set apart these Friendships was being able to talk about it and wanting to be open about our hurt or anger. We reciprocally put in work to stay connected. I could trust my friends would listen to me and try to do better. i could Also trust that I would be forgiven when I needed to do better. To this day, they are the most transformative relationships I’ve had in adulthood and I’m always so grateful for them.
Feb 18, 2025
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And you’re set for life (with the added effort of maintaining it).
I used to try to surround myself with people who I thought were cool and also tried so bad to fit in. I still do feel conscious about that sometimes when I front for a person I place on a pedestal or really am infatuated with (in a platonic way).
I’ve also had friends I get easily frustrated with who point out my mistakes as jokes but I’ve realised are super flawed and insecure. It becomes a relationship where you slowly turn into a projection of them. (I’m not sure how to phrase it). And I’m the kind that forgives very easily the moment someone is nice to me.
Howeverrrrr… over the past few years and more so over the past year I found a group of people I could be open and comfortable with… and I have to say an open and fulfilling relationship with the right people and friends will make you a much better person overall. I’ve also been so inspired by the circle of friends I’ve got now.
It’s not necessarily the friends who always ask you to go out to shop or hang but the friends who you do things with and talk about anything with.
Gratefully & Gratituously,
I love my friends.
Feb 18, 2024
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the clarity and bravery that adulthood provides, in tandem with the urge to make the most of the little time you get to intimately connect with the folks who mean the most to you: these drive you to dig deeper in the single afternoon you have to catch up, talking uninterrupted for 5 whole hours.
even going on 20 years of friendship, there is still more to learn about each other. makes sense, as you’ve spent so much time in self-examination. but now is the time to share, and presenting for show and tell are their fears and yours, hesitations and hinderances and fumbles and mistakes. each time you meet, you begin to know each other anew. here, vulnerability is safe and matter-of-fact.
you speak on the knowledge you‘ve gained by suffering through experiences that they haven’t had, and between you is an easy and frank intimacy interspersed with laughter and silly noises. you’re not sure who else you could ever have this kind of conversation with. the love between friends feels honest and special, as enduring as with family. when you slowly start to shift their mindset by sharing what you’ve learned from years of struggling, from pain that seemed pointless, crushing, isolating, you start to feel that maybe there was point to it after all.
most people are exhausting but you spring away to catch the C train feeling renewed, and maybe a little wise. you are no longer children together, and that‘s okay because now you revel in your shared adulthood, in your parallels and your growth
Jan 28, 2024
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Jun 15, 2024
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Put on the robe, turn on adult swim or whatever, crank the ac, eat a late night snack in one bed and sleep in the other. The freedom of impersonal liminal space.
Oct 21, 2024
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hundreds of thousands of times over
The context may be different but no emotion is completely new— i can cope
Aug 1, 2024