Oh Iām sorry, you thought romance was just a thing that happens? Without any effort or work?
HA. That ^^^ tangent is aimed at people who think romance is a thing that just exists. It is very sarcastic ok.
My wife and I started dating at 14, so 17 years ago now. Weāll be married 8 years this year. And weāve had to choose + work to keep the romance alive. So many people end up in loveless marriages and we decided early on that we wouldnāt fall victim to that. We knew it wouldnāt be easy.
How do you keep the romance alive while one of you is depressed? When youāre transitioning jobs? When youāre exhausted? Once you have a baby and life changes? Through parenthood and the challenges that come with it? I think for some people, those big events take a toll on them and the romance dies. But friend, let me tell you something ā IT IS ON YOU TO KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE.
Love gets a relationship going and sustains it but itās on us to make sure we keep the romantic aspect of the dynamic going. Plan dates. Surprise each other. Make out A LOT. And make sure the other person also wants to do those things!!! You cannot self-fulfill romance in a two person dynamic all by yourself.
Iām just (admittedly) tired of the phrase āRomance is deadā because romance itself doesnāt die, itās that people (1) think it just happens magically or (2) when they realize it takes work, they donāt want to work for it to keep it going. āOh but it was so romantic at firstā ā OF COURSE IT WAS BECAUSE
YOU WERE EXCITED AND HAD BUTTERFLIES. Guess what! YOU CAN STILL BE EXCITED 17 YEARS IN AND STILL HAVE BUTTERFLIES! But you need to work for it. And you need to find someone who wants to work for it with you.
Or you know, just donāt! But itās so special and wonderful to see how something can last & be healthy & sustained when it is cared for intentionally. So maybe someone is reading this and thinking āBULLSHITā well in 20 years Iāll be 51 and wife will be 50 and weāll STILL BE MAKING OUT BECAUSE WE OPTED INTO THIS AND AGREED TO KEEP IT GOING.
*** ā I cannot overstate the importance of making out often.
Feb 18, 2025
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ā„ļø
Maybe one day I'll share the cinematic story of how we got together, but I feel compelled to share more about our relationship now.
We've been together 10 years, and every day we're still looking at each other like this š. We love each other, but we also like, respect, and care for each other. It's not that we don't have conflict or get annoyed, but rather we just talk things through.. kindly.. respectfully.. even when angry. I truly didn't know relationships like this actually existed before we started dating, and that's why I married him even though long term commitment was scary!!!
Relationships need to be fed. Every day we show affection physically and verbally, every day we share our appreciation for each other. We've been through so much individually and together but we've always been on each other's side, even if we didn't fully agree. We leave space to each of us to be who we are, but also help each other grow where it's needed. We both feel like we've married up and lowkey kind of are obsessed with each other. I love being in partnership with him.
This isn't an attempt to paint me, us, or our marriage as perfect. Nothing ever is. I just want people to know that it's possible to be with someone long term and give and receive love. Being with someone is a choice, and it takes work, but overall it should be fun and easy! Who knew!!!
May 27, 2025
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I think falling in love is a process of reconstructing your own life through forgiving and curious eyes and mutually reinforcing that curiosity and wonder with and through the other. Romance would then be the ways in which you view and behave in relationships. While falling in love canāt be forced, you can make romance a part of your life if you choose it. I hope not only that you do, but that you also find someone who will approach both your lives with wonder and intentionality.
Feb 20, 2025
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(I know thatās not really a word, but it is a philosophy)
Itās OK if youāre single, do things that inspire yourself and be creative and make grand gestures and epic pronouncements.
If youāre in a committed partnership, keep the spark alive by doing unexpected and spontaneous things.
And if you have multiple partners, the serotonin and dopamine from being with one can spread to your relationships with the others. As Spider Robinson said, shared joy is increased.
Mar 8, 2024
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ā„ļø
I feel like thereās a special connectivity on this app that I havenāt felt in a long time, maybe since early 2010ās tumblr. The fact that you canāt promote yourself like IG is wonderful. The fact that there isnāt mass video content like Tik Tok is great. Itās not this monetized / paid sponsorship app. People are here because they want to be a part of something with nothing to gain besides friendship. Seeing the URL -> IRL meetups warms my heart so much (waiting for an NYC or Brooklyn meetup).
Thanks for your participation on this niche little app. I smile reading all the recs and all the comments and all the asks. Hope weāll all be here for a long time.
Jun 15, 2024
florinegrassenhopper riotgrrrl brendanooooo slowdazzle buck_mcgraw and indianjones ā we did it. Not only did we successfully meet for drinks, but we also schemed the hostile takeover of this app from tyler tonight.
In all seriousness ā weird that an app I downloaded in April would make genuinely want to drive back into Brooklyn during end of day traffic for a happy hour. Great app filled with great people.
Jul 20, 2024
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I think a life rule for me is to surround myself with people who know more / are smarter / are cooler than me and just absorb their aura by listening / observing them. Itās made me the incredibly smart / cool person you all know and love.
I just never thought Iād feel the same way about URL friends. Iām constantly listening to the songs I see posted here, reading the articles, subbing to newsletters, and googling topics that get tossed onto the feed.
Itās nice to know you can become a more rounded person by just absorbing what your mutuals post on here. Iām going to sit on my couch, have a cocktail and digest my lovely feed. Happy Sunday!
Sep 15, 2024