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This poem is so striking and pulls on my heart strings in a violent way I haven’t felt in most other writing, especially the excerpts below
I want to live longer. I want to love you longer, say it again, I want to love you longer & sing that song again. & get pummeled by the sea & come up breathing & hot sun & those walks & those kids & hard laugh, clap your hands. I am not ready to die yet.
& when I go or you go, let me see you again somewhere, or you see me. Isn’t that you, old friend, my love? you might say, while swimming in some ocean to the small fish at your ankle. Or, Weren’t you my sister once? I might say to the sad, brown dog who follows me down the street. Or to the small boy or old woman or horse eye or to the tree. I know I knew I know you, too.
I want to live longer. I want to love you longer, say it again, I want to love you longer & sing that song again. & get pummeled by the sea & come up breathing & hot sun & those walks & those kids & hard laugh, clap your hands. I am not ready to die yet.
& when I go or you go, let me see you again somewhere, or you see me. Isn’t that you, old friend, my love? you might say, while swimming in some ocean to the small fish at your ankle. Or, Weren’t you my sister once? I might say to the sad, brown dog who follows me down the street. Or to the small boy or old woman or horse eye or to the tree. I know I knew I know you, too.
Feb 13, 2025
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I was so unaware of the privilege I had to be in a workshop with her my first semester of college, she's a saintly presence in a room
oh my gosh this is so good. really packs a punch. thank you so much for sharing 💚
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⭐though words feel too small for what i feel for you, i still want to try.
we fell in love fast.
faster than i knew was possible. and so, so deep.
like something in me had been waiting quietly for you, and the second you arrived, it stood up and said, finally.
it was sudden, intense, and real.
you opened a door in me i didn’t even know was closed—and i stepped through without hesitating.
and that kind of falling… is beautiful. and terrifying.
because when something touches you this deeply, you know it’ll leave a marK.
and i know—whatever happens—this will break me.
at least for a whiLe.
but i wouldn’t take a single second bacK.
because loving you has meant loving all of you.
the way you draw, and your inner child comes out through your hanDs.
the way your body lights up when you skate, like it remembers freedom.
the way you get frustrated sometimes—but never shut down. you stay open, soft, human.
i love how you hold it together with graCe.
how you melt into my arms at the end of the day and let me hold you like you’ve been needing it.
i love how you care so deepLy.
how you notice things most people don’t.
how you believe there’s more out there for you—because there is.
and yes, selfishly, i wish that “more” included mE.
i love that you get annoyed when i turn away from you in my slEep.
that you want me close—even then.
i love your gentleness.
your firE.
your mind.
your spirit.
the way you see me. and let me see you.
and now i’m packing my life into boXes.
getting ready for cologne.
while you’re still here in barcelona—though maybe not foreVer.
it hurts to leave.
it hurts to see that little crack in your smile that i know wasn’t there before.
i hate that i’m the reaSon for it.
but love like this doesn’t just vanish.
it shifts. it stretches. it finds new ways to stay aLive.
and i believe we will figure this out.
not overnight. not without pain.
but we wiLl.
because this doesn’t feel like the end of our story.
it feels like a pause. a transforMation. a deep breath.
you are something i didn’t expect—but something i’ll never forget.
and i love you, in all your layers.
always,
m
Jul 7, 2025
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In threefold lives and twofold tears I hold my breath but I can’t pretend it’s not happening anymore. I keep finding myself saying “we’re graduating” again and again with no intonation because I truly don’t know what to feel. Maybe it’s a manifestation or maybe it’s just a recognition of the eventual, the eventuality of the end of the various hues I’ve been painted with at scad. In my minds eye lives a collage of all of the people whom I’ve cherished for four, (or five years if you count dual enrollment), to say I love them is an egregious understatement. To say I will miss them is simply diminishing an actuality. With me I carry this collage of love it keeps me warm when I am cold, and tender when I am stone. I helped me grow into my bones. Seen me and shone, people I’ve adored. I leave this place adorn with knowledge and love and a want for more. Chest heave practical in armor, holding onto the alternate dream of me, hoping, hoping for an offer, offering a life I am to live, if I just turn and run, if I just turn and run this time, lime green coconut leaves, spotted bedroom sheets, but the change is making me feel like i’ve already tried to hold myself a million little times, I try again, felicity in the way I falter, tell you endlessly, screaming colors of the ocean, push me in I adore it, let me live, I pour it out, strangers color me in the night, pieces of each of our mind, in a way we see each other demise each time, turn in, torn into sequins, sequential nightmares, its going to just end, in a way that I sink through the sun, into I construe again, I was just eighteen when I started this, made some friends I cherish, even, even if I lose them, I’ll still have a memory, of my beloveds smiling back at me, seen me grow, seen me weak, bleeding in through my knees, crying on their shoulders, painful hollow little laughter, walking through a tunnel, holding onto each other, I’ll love them like no other like a dream, no other could it be, in my perfect dream, many lifetimes lived with thee.
May 4, 2025
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📜Ocean, don’t be afraid.
The end of the road is so far ahead
it is already behind us.
Don’t worry. Your father is only your father
until one of you forgets. Like how the spine
won’t remember its wings
no matter how many times our knees
kiss the pavement. Ocean,
are you listening? The most beautiful part
of your body is wherever
your mother’s shadow falls.
Here’s the house with childhood
whittled down to a single red tripwire.
Don’t worry. Just call it horizon
& you’ll never reach it.
Here’s today. Jump. I promise it’s not
a lifeboat. Here’s the man
whose arms are wide enough to gather
your leaving. & here the moment,
just after the lights go out, when you can still see
the faint torch between his legs.
How you use it again & again
to find your own hands.
You asked for a second chance
& are given a mouth to empty into.
Don’t be afraid, the gunfire
is only the sound of people
trying to live a little longer. Ocean. Ocean,
get up. The most beautiful part of your body
is where it’s headed. & remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world. Here’s
the room with everyone in it.
Your dead friends passing
through you like wind
through a wind chime. Here’s a desk
with the gimp leg & a brick
to make it last. Yes, here’s a room
so warm & blood-close,
I swear, you will wake—
& mistake these walls
for skin.
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Here’s a picture I took of a truck which has a logo that matches the mountain peaks behind it! :)
Here’s a picture I took of a truck which has a logo that matches the mountain peaks behind it! :)
Mar 4, 2025
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There’s sumn about this one that feels so good visually. Think it encapsulates that 70s warm fuzz that charm has.
Jan 9, 2025
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I bring a sketchbook wherever I go, especially when I know I’ll be going to places with art or interesting architecture. If you’re not an “artist” or have little experience in physical mediums I think it’s still a great mental exercise and cannot recommend it enough! Every skill is learned!
Here’s a sketch from today based off of Mattia Preti‘s “Saint Paul the Hermit”
Here’s a sketch from today based off of Mattia Preti‘s “Saint Paul the Hermit”
Jan 12, 2025