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Do you guys ever get a feeling that you just won’t get along with someone? Nothing in particular but it’s just the vibes?
i find that I don’t talk to people of if I get a vibe that we won’t get along. But today I got today that was childish and I shouldn’t be doing that? Idk thoughts?
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just do it, you don‘t own them the emotional labor and they won’t take it personally. don’t settle for an okay therapist. better no therapy at all than a therapist you have no chemistry with.
Jan 29, 2024
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i have found that over-prescribing to any kind of theory that sticks you in one box is often a bad idea! Most of the time the way we react in relationships isn’t just down to our own “attachment style” but a huge amount of factors, including the person that we’re entering into relationships with. Someone might be ”avoidant” with one person and “anxious” with another, then one person comes along who treats them how they like and suddenly they feel secure. Of course, this isn’t to say that there won’t be recurring traumas or feelings that might be a pattern in your relationships, but my advice (based on my own experience) is to treat each of those feelings as it’s own unique thing as and when it comes up, rather than a part of a whole “I am this kind of person with this kind of attachment style”. I think it can trap you into feeling that you’re broken, or that the problem is always you (when sometimes it’s you, sometimes it’s them, sometimes it’s both or neither). My advice would be to note when these feelings are triggered in you, and what possible behaviour or situation set it off. why did that trigger that feeling? Is that a reasonable response to that situation? If it is can you express the discomfort and change the situation or behaviour? If it’s not a reasonable response then can you try to work through the feeling as separate from that situation? If it is reasonable but you cannot explain it to the other person in order to change their behaviour it might not be the right situation for you to be in!
Jul 10, 2024
Feel like I get surface level annoyed with other people pretty often but ultimately I know peace these days. Needed this after the last one tried to tell me I was difficult to get along with lol.
May 24, 2024
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BOOK CLUBS!
I just started a book club with a friend today and even tho the idea has only been in the air for a couple of hours I LOVE IT! It has brought so much joy into my life!
Maybe we need more community building opportunities?
Jan 25, 2025