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AND IF YOU GAZE INTO THE ABYSS, THE ABYSS ALSO GAZES INTO THEE"-Friedrich Nietzsche
i've been surrounded by extremely wealthy people lately. i was shocked by the fact that there were people who truly had no idea how the world worked; they appeared to me to be aliens since their reality was so different from mine. their morals, their complete ignorance, and how disconnected from reality they were scared me. it only occurred to me today that i am already normalizing a lot of what they say, and i find it frightening. i was shocked when i said something similar to what everyone around me often says when i was speaking to an old friend today. he reminded me of this line after i apologized, but he simply said it was alright, he was not offended but deep down i know he trully meant it and i will remind this phrase till the day i die. maybe it is not that deep but i do not want to lose me, how scary...
Feb 2, 2025
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“This is why he is moved, as though he remembered a lost paradise, when he sees a grazing herd, or, in more intimate proximity, sees a child, which as yet has nothing past to deny, playing between the fences of past and future in blissful blindness. And yet the child's play must be disturbed: only too soon will it be called out of its forgetfulness. Then it comes to understand the phrase "it was", that password with which struggle, suffering and boredom approach man to remind him what his existence basically is—a never to be completed imperfect tense. And when death finally brings longed-for forgetfulness it also robs him of the present and of existence and impresses its seal on this knowledge: that existence is only an uninterrupted having-been, a thing which lives by denying itself, consuming itself, and contradicting itself.” - Nietzsche
Apr 24, 2024
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right now as I'm writing this, new york is caked in a freaky orange smog and the world is proverbially "giving" "apocalypse vibes." it's hard not to feel an underlying sense of doom and dread lurking in everything, even the fun things (well the world is ending, so I might as well do what I want, etc. etc.). my whole thing as of late is that I'm sort of over that...I read Recapture the Rapture by Jamie Wheal recently which gets into a lot of these feelings (s/o the meta crisis) and one of his pitches for the start of a solution is something he calls "radical hope." I of course do not know if it will work but I think it's far more interesting than ironic detachment because you're actually not brave enough to care about anything
Jun 19, 2023
“do you ever feel at times as if you're not a person? what i wish to say is that you're not truly present, nor alive, as if you're at the whim of another, like a dog. someone or something had the power to breath life into you, to move you.”
Jan 5, 2025
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