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Recently, I've been smoking less. On one hand, it's a great thing, but yk. Basically always having withdrawals. Climbing is the most fun and some of the best thrills I've had in years. Something I can really see myself doing long term.
Love you all.
Jan 6, 2025
Related Recs
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I started smoking weed as a young high schooler who had been craving drugs most of my youth, out of curiosity, wanting to fit in, wanting to quiet voices, and when it did all the things i wanted it to do i leaned on it for years. Clung to it. But, after going cold turkey on my antidepressants due to being sick of them, weed was my friend. She helped me calm, regulate, laugh, she reminded me to eat, and best of all share with people i loved. I don’t need anything to do that anymore (Shout out frontal lobe development) and due to being broke in college, i smoke significantly less, and now only when i want to, not because i need to. which is nice! addiction sucks bawwwllsss and my sprint away from who i used to be with substances has slowed into a nice jog.
Feb 18, 2025
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By just having some time to myself to smoke a j alone and vibe in my room. Have not done this in years, didn’t smoke for a while either (classic reasons, anxiety etc) but it’s been fun to see myself as more grown up since I last did this. kind of feels like convening with a past self and being like - yes life is weird but that means that anything goes and that’s great, I’m having fun 🫶🤷♀️
Jun 24, 2024
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This is a confession post, not a recommendation, not even much of an anti-recommendation. Tbh it reads like a humilation ritual. Honestly just keep scrolling; it's not worth reading. I'm just posting it because I think I had a point when I first started writing this, one which I lost pretty wuickly. But I spent a good couple of minutes typing this all out, so I'll post it anyway. Thank God I'm anon. If you do read it, please forgive me.
My friend Tyler brought a joint to the super bowl party last night. He handed it to me & told me about how it had weed diamonds in it while I smoked, he told me that it was some good shit and that I wouldn't have to smoke so much of it since I've got such a low tolerance & all, but I could also smoke as much as I liked, seeing as he had a bunch more & that it was the super bowl & we had a bunch of wings on the way anyway, so might as well smoke some more weed so you know what? yeah, i smoked some more weed since what's the harm anyway it's just weed after all.
I've been a mess all day. I've been slow & stupid & disgustingly horny since I woke up this morning; but really honestly since I smoked the weed. If you're one of those types that "actually becomes more functional when you're smoking weed" & that I should "just let people enjoy things" I don't know what to say to you. I'm going to be weird for 4 weeks now and it's all my fault. This happens every time.
Even when it doesn't turn me into a non-verbal paranoiac nutcase, even when it's enjoyable to me in that moment-- I become something lower than a beast. I stand over the platter of chicken wings & gorge until I am sick and then I gorge even more. My stomach becomes distended & my face and fingers are covered in thai curry buffalo chicken fat goo. I waddle around & fart & I find this very funny. I confuse the sound of my own voice with that of my younger sisters & this is incredibly disqueting to me. Do I really sound like that? I become a big confused overgrown fat baby.
I'm going to be be weird for four weeks now. Slow. I was supposed to meet up with my friends to watch Luka's debut for the Lakers. I'm stitting at my desk typing this up; procrastinating going to the gym (which I can NOT neglect [especially after my evening of spiritual obesity]) & the game starts in 5 minutes. Stupid. Typing out this confession right now is painfully difficult. Every word that I type has the appearance of a whitehead that can't be popped to me. This textbox full of blemishes so infuriatingly, stubbornly, immutably DISGUSTING. I feel sick just reading back what I'm writing here. Once again, if you've made it this far, forgive me. This is a confession, not a recommendation. Disgustingly horny. This one I won't elaborate on. Forgive me.
It's not because I smoked weed. The smoking of the weed was just the first movement in a sequence that had already begun before I'd even accepted the joint from Tyler. My own spiritual weakness is the mantle upon which all of these failings hang. I'm not this way because I smoked weed, I'm this way because I'm the type of guy that smokes weed even though I know what it will do to me. There are 999,999,999 other weeds in my life that I am all too willing to permit myself. I haven't eaten anything but bread & butter all day. The lakers game is starting soon. Off to the gym I go.
Feb 11, 2025
Top Recs from @thatiidiot
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Life is really weird lately. I think I'm starting hrt soon, which is great. I miss doing graffiti more and more as winter gets colder, I would keep on but I can't risk getting arrested. My vape is dying. My birthday is soon and I'm vaguely excited, but it isn't the same as when I was little.
I love my life.
Jan 7, 2025
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Never met anyone that doesn't like it, just a really good sample with solid everything else.
Jan 6, 2025
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Nothing really happened today.
Im still thinking about just about everything I've done in the last while. I miss the life I used to have but hate the person I used to be. Unfortunately, I haven't changed much.
One step at a time.
Jan 8, 2025