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i just moved back in to my parents’ house, after spending 4 years of college outside of town. gone was the feeling of liberty, of living my life as mine and only mine. suddenly, i forgot how i used to live under this roof for all of those years. this place’s supposed to be my home. but moving back here doesn’t feel like coming home. not anymore.
Jan 5, 2025

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im finally home after several months and theres this constant feeling that i need to go ‘home’ cz this doesnt feel like that at all. Im just reminded of why i left in the first place. if this makes sense.
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i was home for thanksgiving after moving away 10 years ago, and being home made me feel creepy and like a child again. so i wrote some creative nonfiction about the town i grew up in, personifying the city itself and writing stories about the town villainizing and holding hostage its residents. there's a huge government operation there as well so it lent itself to storytelling quite well
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returning to places that you can vaguely recall is harrowing. the ground was moved by us yet will outlive us. you were a different person years ago and were here. you’re now here where you once were. who were those people you were with? who were you?

Top Recs from @icha

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i have always known this. that people come and go. but it was only recently that this statement really… struck me. i guess that no matter how much you want people to stay in your life, sometimes it‘s just inevitable. though it was hard at first to let go of ‘your person’, i also realized that relationships are maintained by more than just one person. so no matter how much you want to keep those people in your life, to save the relationship and connection that you have, at the end of the day, they also have a say in what they feel and what they want. and if what they want is to be out of your life, then the best thing that you could do is to accept and respect that. it’s the best thing that you could do. not only for them, but also for you.
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nothing beats the aftermath feeling of hanging out with your homies that you haven’t seen for a long while, knowing that you had a well spent day with the right people. my heart is full.
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people have their own way to capture memories, and mine is to capture it through film! there’s just something romantic about capturing moments with film camera. the knowledge that once you press that shutter button, there’s no going back. there is no retakes, or trying to check if it was out of focus. you just hope that you got the aperture right and there‘s enough lighting to perfectly capture the moment right there and then. here’s one of my favorite films captured in 2024! oh how i wish i could attach more than just one pic here.
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