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I've learned this lesson a lot specifically in the past couple years. It's also made me realize that everything is temporary, no matter how desperately I want to hold on to something. I try my best to just appreciate the memories of every good thing I've had, and it makes me so glad that I even got to experience this in the first place.
This continues to be hard for me to accept. I have a history of carrying 90% of a relationship/friendship to keep it going. I have this false idea that if a relationship is only valid if it doesn't go away. So when something just sort of drifts apart it cheapens it. It's only recently that I've been able to (with the help off my therapist) come to terms with the truth that some acquaintences are just acquaintences. Not everyone needs to be my best friend.
foxbuns it’s funny how i see myself in your writing! i was like that too, you know? there was once a moment when i’m not particularly afraid of the concept of “drifting apart”. i have always thought that this would never happen with me and my people, because i am someone who really put my all in keeping my relationships afloat. i always reached out to them when i missed them, when time passed by and i haven’t heard from them for a long time, i would occasionally ask about their life, told them candidly how i miss them.
but relationship is a two way street. there will come moments when you finally realized that it was only you that‘s putting in all the effort, trying to make the boat float. and when this realization finally hit, you just can’t help to stop rowing the boat, and trying to fix things.
it hurts and tiring. but at least, you know that you’ve done your all in trying to make it work. and when you’ve done your all, but it still isn’t working out the way you want it to be, you just gotta let go and understand that it is them, and not you.
relationships naturally change with time, It’s good to remember you always have yourself, and even if some you love has left you’ve lived without them before and you can do it again!
wormdeity fr though! 😭 this realization is kind of cruel but also comforting at the same time. sometimes, it’s exactly this that has kept me going for so long.
The fourth daily remembrance is: “Everyone I love and all that is dear to me is of the nature to change, I cannot escape being separated from them.” For me, that’s the hardest one to grasp sometimes.
It's a crazy thing to think about because when someone enters your life, you're not expecting them to leave. You don't meet someone and start a mental countdown. You think, okay you're here, enjoy the stay and stick around. It's only when they're gone that you realize people staying is RARE, not the other way around.
