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👩❤️💋👩
there’s something about dedicating a piece of your heart & imagination to a person, often, for me, with zero reciprocation.
the desire to love & be loved growing stronger everyday, dreams flooded with their smile, voice.
i like to think i’m happy with the made-up scenarios & longing looks, or maybe i’m just a coward.
the desire to love & be loved growing stronger everyday, dreams flooded with their smile, voice.
i like to think i’m happy with the made-up scenarios & longing looks, or maybe i’m just a coward.
Dec 14, 2024
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It’s nice! The cool feeling of seeing them and your heart fluttering a little
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I get crushes on people easy.
I sort of imagine a life with someone only after thinking about them a couple times. right now I have about four crushes, but I think it’s my want of a relationship, so so bad.
Equally I do not admit feelings for people. I would rather encourage someone to get in a relationship with someone else than admit my feelings, it’s like tending to an overgrown garden.
I sort of imagine a life with someone only after thinking about them a couple times. right now I have about four crushes, but I think it’s my want of a relationship, so so bad.
Equally I do not admit feelings for people. I would rather encourage someone to get in a relationship with someone else than admit my feelings, it’s like tending to an overgrown garden.
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💓i am fully aware that i am thinking about her, and possibly, probably not the other way around. that's because she is not mine, the crush is mine!!! an important distinction: a crush is not the relationship, it is separate, however informed it may be by the actual relationship. a crush does not necessarily capture or define the woman of its desire. a crush does not concern itself with accuracy, however detailed it might be. my crush is an overgrown weed of curiosity and attention. it is my fantasy, my story to tell myself.
which is to say, it's my creation. i am behind it. though the attention and ideation is about her, i am responsible. it's important to take such responsibility, to understand i am the one generating feelings of possibility, romance, hope, butterflies, foolishness, self-consciousness, and to not only accept this responsibility, but claim ownership and to be in on it.
of course, this is my ham-fisted attempt at a semblance of control that derives from the agony and ecstasy of having no control.
which is to say, it's my creation. i am behind it. though the attention and ideation is about her, i am responsible. it's important to take such responsibility, to understand i am the one generating feelings of possibility, romance, hope, butterflies, foolishness, self-consciousness, and to not only accept this responsibility, but claim ownership and to be in on it.
of course, this is my ham-fisted attempt at a semblance of control that derives from the agony and ecstasy of having no control.
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At my big age, I still have crushes and they are the most delightful reminder of youth (it never really goes away tbh). Today I made a mixtape for one crush who I’ve been texting and voice memo-ing with for the last month cause he’s road tripping the country. I texted another crush to be like omg having a crush on someone like you is a little scawy for me but I think ur so cute uWu. Another crush is on her way back to the city from a trip to Argentina and she’s been sending me pictures of herself at various waterfalls. I love people. I love flirting. I love to yap. I love to exchange lil trinkets and penguin pebble with cuties. I’m not a player (I AM a cancer however, smh), I just crush a lot 🥹☺️😍🫶🏾😳
Jun 2, 2025
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🏙that’s it. as society strays further from physical connection & closeness, i experience sheer joy simply walking alongside strangers.
it’s easier to feel a sense of belonging when you are shoulder to shoulder, not bumper to bumper.
it’s easier to feel a sense of belonging when you are shoulder to shoulder, not bumper to bumper.
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💭when people used to say “you should journal!” i would be like yeah, yeah whatever. it’s funny looking back on it, because now whenever i get a single thought in my head, i have to write it down. it can be difficult for me to identify my emotions, but seeing bits of my thoughts, written and scattered about, allows me to solve the puzzle piece that is my complex (& crazy) mind. 🪐