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It's an interesting irony that with using a better iphone camera, I was afraid the better quality would magnify x100 my flaws like pores and skin imperfections. But your good features also show up even more clearly - even if your (muscle) memory is still trained from acne ridden years of family, and self-rejection.
And the other funny thing is that I was thinking, because I never felt like, you know, happy, happy, but it's not that kind of happy. It's more like before, if I could get better, more money, better health, look thinner, or look better, or get a better job, have someone, you know, you love, who loves you, that will make you happy. But actually it's not like that at all. It's like I had to go through these quite horrific mentally and emotionally wrecking years and thank God finally got rid of a terrible toxic narcassist, and I realized happiness is actually someone not stealing you from you, not poisoning you, your life, not dragging you into their chaos (but blaming you, telling you you are TOO this and not enough that!!) That's happiness. It's actually a strange revelation. I mean, it's not so strange after you realize it, but before and after, that's what people think it is, is happiness is not what we expect it to be. The middle is real shit though. And I still don't know what tomorrow will bring. But God.
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it may be cringe. it may have been said before. but sometimes, after we are continuously exposed to the same phrases we start hearing them as background noise, hearing them without actually fully listening to them and applying them to our lives. your reality is literally whatever you choose to make it!!! and you are the only one who is truly in control of that and can truly shape that. i absolutely hate the tumblr romanticizaction of sadness and the notion that âpositive/happy people are stupid or ignorantâ and that ânegative people are broody and intelligent because they see the world for what it truly isâđĽ. it is so damaging to think that way, on the first-hand, to yourself, and it is soooo easy to fall into a mindset where you victimize yourself. on the other hand, it is so difficult to be in a negative circumstance or surrounded by negative things and purposely choose not to wallow in your misery and to instead take control of your life and concentrate on the positive parts of it instead. YOU are the one who has to live in your own brain at the end of the day- why would you want to make it an uninhabitable environment? youâre basically the architect of a new house in creative mode on minecraft and youâre choosing to build a dirt block house instead of a mansion. (ofc this is a generalized statement and it is so valid to be sad and be going through it when youâre going through adverse circumstances. i donât want to advocate for toxic positivity and i think itâs so important to recognize and feel your emotions, good or bad! Denying/avoiding your emotions is also extremely damaging. also acknowledging that this can come easier or harder to different people in different circumstances.but regardless, at the end of the day, you are in charge of how you respond to your circumstances!) it is so easier said than done, especially if youâre in a rough patch of your life or have built a habit of romanticizing your sadness. this is something I have to remind myself of all the time too- tldr: negativity should be acknowledged and experienced, and not a basis for identity.
Apr 11, 2025
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itâs a cliche for sure, but in recent years i have become a big believer in every event, good or bad, having some sort of purpose, whether it be a big or little one. i guess this helps me to stay content in the moment because it reminds me that, âhey! i know you might be upset about this thing right now, but itâll work out. you just have to let it.â i am a big time worrier, and i always want to control situations as much as i can, but i have found that if i just let them play out, theyâll go the way they were meant to. (and if itâs not in a good way, at least itâs a good story).
and, honestly, it helps me just remembering what a miracle it is to be alive at all; to have the blessing of living at the same time as the people i love; to feel the sun shine on my face in that very moment. we are so small in the grand scheme of things, but here we are!!! how wonderful is that!!!
itâs like in âviennaâ: âslow down, youâre doing fine, you canât be everything you wanna be before your time.â
Sep 24, 2024
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Maybe i have too high a tolerance for discomfort but something tells me thats not the worst thing. Whats so bad about slapping on a smile when it hurts. You go for a run you change your perspective and things are good until they arenât and you go and try to fix it again. about the journey right? maybe it is better to be honest with yourself i dont know. But this works sometimes for me believe in life and love try ur best etc. sorry to preach.
Jan 12, 2024
Top Recs from @sachikom
Python!
Honestly very hard for me to get into - I have ZERO coding knowledge and nothing I could really latch onto - knowledge transfer is how I learn. But https://futurecoder.io/ is great (after lots of Redditing)
Aug 18, 2024
The puffin is the latest addition to more than 180 known speciesâmany of them sharks, corals, and other marine animalsâthat emit a luminous glow.
The fact that so many marine animals biofluoresce "tells us organisms are using light in ways we don't even see,"Â John Sparks, curator of fishes at the American Museum of Natural History in New York City.
Nov 16, 2024
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I read that happiness is when your expectations falls below the reality. A new mind project for April. Good prognosis.
Apr 7, 2024