honestly it really made me understand my autonomy and the larger role i play in shaping my own life. iām in complete control of the life i want to build and nurture.
life is hardālike, really fucking hardāand thereās no rulebook. weāre all just figuring it out, and thereās no one ārightā way to do it. for me, itās been helpful to focus on my values and what truly makes me happy and/or brings me joy. when do i feel most at peace? what makes me feel loved? how do i stay grounded? so when life inevitably gets toughāand it always doesāi have tools to navigate it and avoid feeling soā¦shitty.
there was a limit to how much i could lean on my support system. donāt get me wrongā my friends, family, and community were so critical for me during this time, but i had to be honest with myself: i needed professional help š
. now, iām here, feeling like i can actually liveāand enjoy life.
ditto to what everyone has said above. sending virtual hugs š©·š«š©·
Dec 4, 2024
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āRather than letting our negativity get the better of us, we could acknowledge that right now we feel like a piece of shit and not be squeamish about taking a good look.ā - Pema Chƶdrƶn
Iāve just lived one of the hardest years of my life. There were many days that I cried or felt numb or found myself praying to an interventionist god I do not believe in. In short, things have sucked.
But there are also good days. Days with a lot of laughter with friends, or cuddles from my cats, or some new piece of art that heals me. Itās not all bad, just as it will never be all good.You have to make peace with this fact because there is no other choice. You donāt have to be happy about all of it, but make peace. Experience all that life has to offer and it will transform you.
āThings falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things donāt really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. Itās just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.ā
Dec 5, 2024
Firstly, big warm virtual hug. Close your eyes and feel it š«
The book Iām recommending was such a comfort for me in a hard time, and I hope it is for you too.
I donāt want to move too far into Therapy speak but I have to make very clear to you, somebody telling you that you will never be loved is an abusive statement. That is like a curse being placed upon you. That seed is planted in your heart and everything gets filtered through it. And itās not TRUE! ITāS NOT TRUE!!! ITāS NOT TRUE!!! You need to deal with that. And you will. I believe in you.
Nov 4, 2024
š«¶
Okay my advice is very miscellaneous but here goes:
ā¢ Idk if youāre already in therapy or not, but unless you adore your current therapist (who may or may not have training in autistic folks?) I would highly recommend seeing a therapist who is autistic themselves and works with neurodivergent people. Iāve been to 5 therapists over the course of 15 years and BY FAR the most helpful experience has been with my current therapist who is the only one Iāve ever seen who was also autistic. Iām no longer wasting time trying to āfixā things about myself that neurotypical society (& neurotypical therapists) convinced me were problems. Now, someone understands my problems more innately and is able to help me identify when itās truly something interfering with my life rather than just an external pressure Iām taking on unnecessarily.
ā¢ As someone who also found this out as an adult rather than a childā¦ thereās so much relief but also waves of grief that may hit unexpectedly. Grief over how hard you may have been on yourself when you were young and didnāt understand what was going on. Grief over support you perhaps could have had sooner that you have access to now. Let yourself feel the grief and work through it at your own pace.
ā¢ā¦and lest that sound too depressing, know thereās even more relief around the corner as you slowly learn more about yourself and how you can best live and move in the world! (following autistic writers and other creators online has been so encouraging for me as weāre all just figuring it out and supporting each other)
ā¢ Itās valid to be frustrated with autistic traits in yourself and itās valid to love autistic traits in yourself. Youāre a whole beautiful person, not a pathology.
ā¢ This is getting soapboxy so Iāll stop but congratulations on your diagnosis and I wish you all the gentleness and clarity and support! Feel free to DM me if you ever want to talk more about it! ā¤ļø
1d ago
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got me giddy as hell packing my bags and picking up my sweet little treats
weāre gonna spend the night exchanging hot goss and our silly little secrets
iām over here kicking and swinging my little feet in anticipation
this really this is a love letter to my girls. i love you and iāll see you sooonnnnnn
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(>.<)
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Dec 14, 2024
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god sometimes, in the moment, it sucks. but 99.99% of the time i feel so much better after the fact. inspired by me having to recently take my own advice i give to my students about how to get more comfortable being uncomfortable.
Dec 18, 2024
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nothing better than knowing what makes you feel and look good and sticking to it. i know an all black fit or big sweater-skirt-with-tights combo hate to see me comin š
Dec 13, 2024