It’s difficult to really share how you feel and what you need. We can easily slip into some kind of survival mode where we people please, or shut down, or lash out in anger. But what’s beneath that? What underlying need isn‘t being expressed or met?
Of course, being able to speak to our true needs and feelings is difficult, but it can be even harder to recognize what we actually feel or need — especially if those survival modes have been our default for so long.
Work on some somatic practices. Get in touch with your own body and the feelings that arise. Use that as a starting point to recognize what it is you need from yourself, as well as from other people, and then work towards sharing those needs directly to other people.
It’s not easy being vulnerable. In fact, it‘s right there in the word: vulnerable. Yet developing that capacity has been transformative for me over the past 5 or 6 years. Slowly but surely.
Nov 18, 2024
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it’s scary, but it will only foster stronger and deeper relationships with those around you
Jan 10, 2025
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turns out a lot of the time people are nice and understanding in the face of vulnerability
Jan 29, 2024
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lately ive been in touch with someone who i have a lot of complicated emotions about and in general ive been trying 2 be very level headed about it, 2 not go 2 hard in either direction. however yesterday we kind of ended up having a more relaxed and honest talk which then led 2 me pretty much spilling my guts out
i mainly wanted 2 give decent advice about a thing we both struggle with from a perspective of a person who lived and coped with it longer and that partially went into a lot more of a harsh subject matter. it seemed pretty useful at first but then the conversation slowed 2 a crawl and it was just me talking about my previous pain into the void
i don't exactly regret it, after all if we are 2 be close again in any shape or form we got 2 be honest with each other, but it still sucks because i went somewhere that's very much a sore subject for me and presumably for them. pulling this kind of act is pretty difficult emotionally and I just woke up and im still thinking about it
12h ago
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I’m not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But it’s pretty extreme when people say they ”hate kids” and I often feel it’s a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids “should be.” That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little.
It’s fucking hard to be a kid. You’re dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. It’s confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when they‘re brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe that’s the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
May 6, 2025
I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk.
This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025