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i often find myself wanting to be universally liked before i remember that actually, not only are there certain kinds of people that i don’t care about the opinions of, there are certain kinds of people who i actually *want* to dislike and resent me and i would be deeply uncomfortable being admired by.
when you’re expressing a part of yourself that you’re afraid might make people dislike you, consider: what is the sort of person who would dislike me because of this? would i want to associate with that kind of person? very occasionally the answer might be yes, but often you’ll find that as soon as you concretely imagine the sort of person who is alienated by you (or unconventional trait X), you will find that it’s the sort of person you don’t want to associate with anyways!
“be yourself” is not just good advice because it’s personally comforting - it’s also good advice because being yourself is a good way to filter out people from your life who aren’t ready for what you’re bringing to the table. stop thinking “do they wanna hang out with me” and start thinking “do i wanna hang out with them”
Oct 10, 2024
Related Recs
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A lot of the time people want to please everyone. This makes you fear stepping out of your comfort zone and say what you actually want to say. Instead, open yourself up to the fact that some people just WILL NOT like you whether its justified or not.
Talk to people!!! say what you think and ask questions
Apr 12, 2024
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blessing in disguise. if u arent pissing them off u arent doing it right!
not worth acting like a fool cuz u wanna be liked. you’ll find your people when u live in authenticity. everything in alignment!! trust!!!
Oct 24, 2024
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When the only person that matters to you’s 29 year old ex-coworker says that you are “a lot”, you may realize that you aren’t as palatable as you thought.
I always thought I was extremely likeable. I mean maybe not extremely but I always thought I have a good first impression. And maybe I am intense, maybe I shouldn’t of told the waiter that one of the oysters tasted like “dirty pussy” or I shouldn’t of asked him what type of porn he watches. But, that’s me. And I can’t change it.
Jan 26, 2024
Top Recs from @dotmatrices
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spent the last two weeks working on an interactive guide, recommendations database, and digital library (link depot) to help get people off of social media. the first draft is done now, and it's at the link to this post.
it's still very much a work in progress (the library is especially thin atm) - which is why i wanted to share it here before unleashing it upon my IRL friends and the general public. i welcome any and all feedback, bug reports, and suggestions for things to add. i will be pushing updates to it out like a madman in the coming weeks, so be sure to check back every so often to see new additions to the database and library.
additionally, i am still on the hunt for newsletters from local venues / community organizations / magazines / newspapers, etc. the only cities i have remotely covered so far are nyc, orlando, denver, brisbane, and little bits of worcester and chicago. if you know anything in your area that fits the bill, send it my way!
Jan 27, 2025
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it is your civic duty to mercilessly mock generative ai users as much as possible
Jan 18, 2025
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chronological feeds on social media are a dying breed and it's so important to maintain the ones you still have
1d ago