🐞
Woke up this morning, thanked god my blankets TAKE UP SPACE ON THE MATTRESS, SO I WAKE UP ALL THE MORE ready for the day. They fill the time like PEOPLE! Like, conversations (fake) or how a new deodorant canister carries itself across DIMENSIONS AND WE CAN HARDLY FIGURE IT OUT! (IT ALL OUT!)
Chokes you hard, and new, but we let it because we need it and because we have to AND CONVINCES YOU IT IS NOT THE FIRST TIME, IT WAS WHAT YOU USED BACK IN THE 2020 WINTER OR MAYBE IT WAS 2021 SUMMER OR WHAT YOU USED TO INHALE WITH YOUR FACE PRESSED TO THE HARD CHEST OF THE BOY YOU STILL LOVE (It felt like cement!), REAL SUBTLE THESE CANS ARE SUBTLE, until they're gone in a blink and the CVS is all out of your usual.
And now you must say your goodbyes (kiss 'em!) until they wash back OVER YOU, when you're most unsuspecting (like a deer) in an unsuspecting room (the headlights).
Then you must kiss it goodbye AGAIN! YOU NEVER STOP KISSING IT GOODBYE if it never stops CREEPING up on you, only if you couldn't smell it BUT WE ARE GLAD THAT YOU CAN.
-Your friends at Old Spice Deodorant Factory. Thanks for being a loyal customer this year, take 10% off, ON US! :)
I know this is the one this time (I'VE SWORN). I know my credibility dwindles more and more each time, I know (I SWEAR), but this time, THIS TIME, I think I really found it. None of them feel wrong at the beginning though-- THEY FEEL EXACT. Like, it's the right breed. THEN THEY GROW AND GROW AND ATTACH TO GROWING OBJECTS, THE ONES THAT HANG AROUND NOW, a cluster of deer on the run, entangled wool blankets, (or the talk I had with the boy I loved) AND DON'T FEEL LIKE HOME ANYMORE, it's somewhere else-- maybe under my sweaty pits.
Sep 30, 2024
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I’m so tired of being boxed into pastel-packaged, cucumber-melon-scented expectations.
Just tried Old Spice, and wow - it goes on so smooth, smells insanely fresh, and honestly feels more “clean” than most “for her” options.
And if you think about it - toothpaste isn’t marketed to a specific gender, so why should deodorant be?
Jan 18, 2025
🫧
I am someone who is kind of neurotic about being clean, wearing fresh clothes, and smelling nice. As karmic punishment, my body has decided that I am suddenly allergic to deodorant fragrances.
I now have no choice but to welcome the fruitful musk of my animal form. Henceforth I lean into the natural, the ephemeral, I am but a creature of this earth who is maybe a tiny bit stinky. I am free
Mar 29, 2024
Not a girlie BUT I steal my wife’s deodorant all the time. The other day I went for a long run and didn’t have my usual deodorant so used this one and it held up great. The apple smell always makes me feel pretty, so 🤷🏻♂️
Apr 30, 2024
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Coded a blog with my bare hands. Wrote about heartbreak. Did it because a boy I liked two years ago did it, so I did it too. I miss the way I used to like people.
Sep 30, 2024
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I like to chew it.
Sep 30, 2024
A friend of mine gave me a psychic reading for my cat (Bug), and she loves flowers. She's not afraid of death. She wants her own water fountain too. And she's so excited to watch me grow. She doesn't want me to be afraid of her dying because she's just happy to be here and it's only just the beginning. She knows all my secrets. And why I cry. And she thinks I'm beautiful.
Sep 30, 2024