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i’m usually pretty judicious about what i keep and take to a bisque and then a full fire bc i hate making things that end up becoming a heavy burden of THINGNESS and often those things arent up to the caliber i want them to be. I’m learning in therapy that this is really bad perfectionism. I challenged myself to keep this speaker amplifier no matter how ugo she got ( i nearly scrapped her twice) but it’s growing on me bit by bit.
Sep 27, 2024
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Feb 9, 2024
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😃I love trying new things and understand that with trying new things comes failure and disappointment sometimes. I’ve had a tough day and decided to try something new because what could feel worse than I already do? But it worked out and felt good (yay). Trying to carry this over into things I actually need to do today though….baby steps
Jun 15, 2025
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✨I’m terrible at this but I have seen it work and made it work in short bursts, you just gotta do do do! and each time you do/make it’ll be better and less alien and you’ll be more comfortable sharing your vision/ideas/dare-i-say-light? with the world. absolutely sucks to begin the process but be consistent and then you’ll find that you’re actually quite brave
Apr 18, 2025
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Dec 1, 2024
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@mothersuperior post on latex and the yearndemic reminded me of this essay that I read a few years ago about the commodification and fetishization of the body and how it’s been paralleled with a lack of chemistry and sexuality that we used to see on screen. The title is your tldr: everyone is hot and no one is horny. The sterilization of sexuality and sex is everywhere, past even film. It’s a response to the acceleration of capitalism, war and colonial extraction of the earth. It has crept into the ways we view ourselves, our experience and our bodies.
One thing I took away from this essay is that to align yourself with traditional beauty standards will make you too tired to fuck. Similarly, the whole « working on yourself » grind that I heard on first dates all the time is this strange, individualistic perspective that makes you too exhausted and distracted for the holistic chemistry we desire. We flatten our lives to marketable lines that make us appear attractive - I’m working on myself, I’ve been going to therapy, I have a nice job and apartment. And while people are obviously horny, they don’t know for what - forming our bodies to be better, our minds fixed and correct, we can’t pinpoint what the purpose is cause we’re too fucking exhausted to investigate further than that. Love, desire, and chemistry feel more and more elusive.
For us to morph ourselves into the image of sexiness according to western beauty standards, there is sacrifice (nutrients, your current corporeal form, the ability to be perceived as more than an object, working long hours for your grind) that doesn’t align with sensuality (unless you’re into that). There is no room for the spectrum of sensations you body is capable of feeling. There is no room for desire when we’ve given it all up the capitalist war machine. :p
Mar 10, 2025
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i read this book right after leaving an abusive relationship, trying to figure out what love was for me and how i could see it in my recently shook up world.
bell hooks writes in a simple, honest language. it’s a beautiful, accessible book that humbled me and taught me how to love people and where find the love i desired.
bell hooks writes in a simple, honest language. it’s a beautiful, accessible book that humbled me and taught me how to love people and where find the love i desired.
Feb 20, 2025