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@mothersuperior post on latex and the yearndemic reminded me of this essay that I read a few years ago about the commodification and fetishization of the body and how itās been paralleled with a lack of chemistry and sexuality that we used to see on screen. The title is your tldr: everyone is hot and no one is horny. The sterilization of sexuality and sex is everywhere, past even film. Itās a response to the acceleration of capitalism, war and colonial extraction of the earth. It has crept into the ways we view ourselves, our experience and our bodies.
One thing I took away from this essay is that to align yourself with traditional beauty standards will make you too tired to fuck. Similarly, the whole Ā«Ā working on yourselfĀ Ā» grind that I heard on first dates all the time is this strange, individualistic perspective that makes you too exhausted and distracted for the holistic chemistry we desire. We flatten our lives to marketable lines that make us appear attractive - Iām working on myself, Iāve been going to therapy, I have a nice job and apartment. And while people are obviously horny, they donāt know for what - forming our bodies to be Ā better, our minds fixed and correct, we canāt pinpoint what the purpose is cause weāre too fucking exhausted to investigate further than that. Love, desire, and chemistry feel more and more elusive.
For us to morph ourselves into the image of sexiness according to western beauty standards, there is sacrifice (nutrients, your current corporeal form, the ability to be perceived as more than an object, working long hours for your grind) that doesnāt align with sensuality (unless youāre into that). There is no room for the spectrum of sensations you body is capable of feeling. There is no room for desire when weāve given it all up the capitalist war machine. :p
Mar 10, 2025
i read this book right after leaving an abusive relationship, trying to figure out what love was for me and how i could see it in my recently shook up world.
bell hooks writes in a simple, honest language. itās a beautiful, accessible book that humbled me and taught me how to love people and where find the love i desired.
Feb 20, 2025