been living alone since 2022 and i’ve come to enjoy it a lot but it def takes some adjusting. here’s some stuff that’s helped me appreciate it and also alleviate some of the downsides: 1. DECORATE!!! you no longer have to share a space, go wild with making it your own! put all your pretty lil things out on display, get some art for the walls, adorn your room with personal effects. your apartment is no longer simply your place of residence, it is an extension of yourself 2. Organize and maintain the space the only person who has to deal with your messes is yourself, but don’t let this make your mess tolerance go down. keep your space orderly and functional and enjoy the ritual of keeping your space maintained. if your space devolves to squalor, you will be the one to suffer. don’t let your space be neglected and then become a hostile environment to yourself. keep neat on the reg and treat your future self every once in a while with a deep clean. 3. Get out the house!! one benefit of living with roommates/family is having them provide reasons to be out an about. living alone means you’ll have to make your own reasons. if you’re a homebody like myself, there can be a big temptation to spend all your time in blissful solitude. but the line from solitude to isolation can be a fine one, so make sure that as well as inhabiting your space you also inhabit your locale. get to know your new neighborhood and find reasons to regularly be out of your space. make your space where you come to be recharged and renewed and not your default spot, you’ll appreciate it more that way. 4. pee with the door open who’s gonna stop you?????
Sep 18, 2024

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i have noticed that people look down on people with roommates above a certain age. i live alone, and i've lived alone for a while, at an age where it would have been more appropriate (for a lack of a better term) to have roommates. now when i tell people i'm leaving my apartment to move in with my best friend, they're confused and want to know if i've thought it through. YES, i have, SHUT up. i have a tendency to live as a shut-in, hermit-style, out of laziness and anxiety, and everything starts to get really scary after a day or two of working from home and not going outside. i know it'll change when i live with my best friend when i can just go downstairs to have coffee together, to hang out, to go to her room and talk and laugh. i'm not made to live alone, i realize that after being certain i have to for years. i think it's just that the people i have lived with never gave me the space i need sometimes. i've grown, my friend knows me through and through. this time is different.
May 14, 2025
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First thing is that being alone is not just ok but the best thing ever, you get to discover yourself : - Hobbies you like reading/ drawing/playing guitar/watching documentaries/hiking/cycling/etc… - Setting boundaries : when you are alone you will tend to get know yourself more, what do you like in people, what behaviours you don’t like, respecting your own time, etc… - Self development: switching careers, studying something new, learning a language, etc… How to be okay with it ? first thing to do is to try it, don’t over think it, just do it, being alone doesn’t mean being lonely at all. Besides wasting money, think of your energy, being burnt out could be a result of your energy being drained by people, it doesn’t mean that the people you hang out are bad but your inner self might need to just sit in silence, even going to a coffeeshop alone sitting with your headphones on while reading/crafting/sketching or even just watching tiktok could be helpful to reset the energy.
Jan 11, 2025
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I started loving being alone most of the time, it made me feel bored and empty at first when I started living alone but now I am starting getting used to it and embracing it and realizing it wasn't that bad after all. one of the best thing that could happen to a person is changing and expanding his perspective.
Jan 21, 2025

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just sit still and listen. drink it in.
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I consume a lot of music regularly, and a huge part of keeping a fresh diet of new listens going is having enough sources of recommendations that aren’t an algorithm that either 1) reinforces your existing listening patterns, keeping you stagnant in your tastes, or 2) platforms whoever paid enough to push their product to the top, serving you something that may not inherently be of inferior quality, but may not align with your tastes, may not be exciting beyond just being a new release, and realigns your current listening habits to be more in line with what the average user on the platform is also listening to — which socially might have benefits but which creates a homogeneity of consumption that can become bland since you’re listening to something really just because it’s the next product on the assembly line to have its public moment and not because anything about the music actually captured your attention. the current landscape of streaming is designed to keep you at an all you can eat buffet where you take what’s served to you, and as a result a lot of us have forgotten how to look at a menu and order. so what does taking a more active role in your own music curation look like? for me, it’s meant not using streaming as a primary listening platform. I mostly use my local Apple Music library on my phone that I curate with the vestigial iTunes Library framework that’s still a part of Apple Music on my laptop. probably going to find an alternative soon since apple seems to be cutting integration progressively. I like this method because it forces me to choose what to sync to the limited storage space I have, forcing me to take inventory of what I actually listen to and what I can offload. the files I get are mostly from Bandcamp or Soulseek depending on whether it’s available for purchase or entirely unavailable online (as is the case for a lot of electronic music that was on vinyl only, which is where soulseek comes in clutch). I also have freedom here to change the ID3 tags to better sort and organize, rate, change track info, and track my own listening data. Bandcamp and other music purchasing platforms are great because 1) it reshapes my relationship to music away from consumerism and back towards curation. I have to pay actual money for this thing now if I want to use it, so i’m forced to consider its value (usually i’ll stream a release first to gauge my interest). 2) having to spend money helps me to course out my meals so to speak, as i’ll buy a few releases i’ve accumulated in my cart over the month and cash out on Bandcamp Friday when 100% of my money is actually getting to the artist (TOMORROW IS BANDCAMP FRIDAY BTW!!!), and between purchases I can actually chew and savor and digest my last orders, they don’t get swept up in the deluge of new releases. my plate is full until i’m done and then I order more. also for the times of the year like now when new music isn’t coming out as regularly I take time to find older music that I would normally overlook while keeping up with new drops. currently very into early 80s/late 70s music with early digital production, kinda stuff that would evolve into synthpop and dance music. so how do you know what to order? for me, I’m getting recs through trusted curation platforms. whether it’s bandcamp daily, y’all lovely folks here on PI.FYI, friends, or most importantly musicians who I follow on socials that share their tastes through posts, stories, playlists on steaming, interviews, etc. I like this last one especially because it’s kind of like a musical game of telephone. if I like an artist and they share their interests and influences it’s like every layer in this process is stretching my palate further from the sound that I was originally interested in and into a new territory that has some shared DNA but would never have been recommended to me by an algo because there’s no shared category or label between them, only the musical influence and interpretation of it made by the artist. as an example, I was a huge Skrillex stan, he signed KOAN Sound to his label, they collab with Asa who collabs with Sorrow, Sorrow takes huge influence from Burial, Burial makes some ambient adjacent stuff and takes huge influence from 90s rave music and drum and bass and 2000s rnb, now i’m listening to Brandy - All in Me, William Basinski, Aphex Twin, none on whom would get recommended by Spotify to me from Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites. LAST thing i’ll say — because in yappin about this i’m realizing how actually passionate about this subject I am: MAKE LISTS! playlists are cool, but they can flatten your music into vague categories of “vibes” and “aesthetics” and encourage picking one-off songs from artists that you never form an active audience relationship with. I make a practice of making my own year end lists of top 25 albums (plus some honorable recs and top individual songs) and keeping them in a notes doc that I regularly update and rearrange over the course of the year. this forces me to consider the actual relationship i’m forming with what i’ve ordered for myself. did I like it in the moment but it didn’t have staying power? is it slowly growing on me? it also encourages taking albums as a whole. maybe I liked one or two tracks a lot but the rest wasn't resonating. that’s ok! maybe I rank it lower but now i’ve actually taken time to consider it, it’s in my library, and maybe (quite a few cases for me) something I ranked like bottom 5 albums becomes a retroactive favorite from that year as my tastes evolve. also 25 albums to take with me from each year is really more than you'd think, i struggle sometimes to even find 25 that I formed a true connection with. I think the biggest thing the itunes era ruined that led into now is the single-ification of music, the ability to separate the hits from the deep cuts. albums are meant to be taken as a whole, and then once you've really sat with the whole you can find what actually stuck. even then I like to keep the whole around because soooo often i’ll write off a track that yeeeears later I come to love. trust the artist, they made it like they did for a reason. aaannyyyywayy TLDR: get recs organically, be more active in deciding your listening patterns, fr*cken pay artists yall, trust the artist embrace the album, really consider what you consume
Feb 29, 2024