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And I no longer feel bad about it!! Everyone has different needs and it’s unnecessary to put value judgements on it. Real friends will understand and respect your needs. I’ve also accepted that it’s ok to prioritize types of socializing that create what feels like authentic connection to me (ex. hanging out with 1-3 close friends at a time vs. going to parties where I know I’ll be making an effort to mask). And I let myself leave events as soon as I’m not having fun!!! I like to think that at every party there’s someone else trying to leave early and I’m giving them permission to do so by being the first to dip 🤝 tl;dr : you do you 💛
Aug 18, 2024
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I’ve had sprinkles of acquaintances and light friendships with people over the years that I sometimes feel bad about losing touch with. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to keep in touch with everyone and still have time to care for yourself and your core people. I’ve tried to stop apologizing for that and just try to let people know I appreciate them from afar. I feel like the older I get the more intentional I have to be with my time and the more healthy boundaries I need to keep. It may disappoint some, but true friends get it, and there will always be an ebb and a flow as life changes. I also feel like social media has wired us to be so hyper-connected all the time and it’s stressful to live up to the expectation of staying in constant communication with everyone you’ve met and liked. Growing up is realizing you can like and enjoy the company of many people and you may not have the time or energy to extend to everyone you want. (And actually it’s also okay not to want to!) Not everything and every connection can stay the same and I need to constantly remind myself of that. I deserve to make space and time for myself so I can love my people better.
Mar 4, 2025
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I do not have to throw myself full force into a friendship
I do not have to give 100%
I can be just acquaintances if I want to
I can deny things I don't like doing
I can set boundaries without feeling bad
I can create relationships I actually enjoy
I can leave behind people who don't respect me
I can meet people halfway and not be expected more than that
I can be free to be tired, busy, needing alone time
I can respond later
I can be allowed to have friends without being a 24/7 hotline
but I'm also allowed to say hi at weird times of the day
I can do anything that works for both of us
I can have a relationship I feel real in without it consuming me
and you can too!!!!!
3d ago
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I just don't think all friends are forever. I used to think every friend was worth investing in and fighting for to keep around for as long as possible, but it's becoming clear to me that it isn't always the case. Sometimes life situations change, or personalities change, or even the things you had in common with someone changes, and suddenly it's not the same. And that's okay. Other times it's the realization of self-growth and improvement that shifts you from friendships. I had one friend that I used to love to...well, gossip with. And at some point that desire to gossip dissipated from my life (for obvious reasons) and that friendship didn't seem that attractive anymore since it wasn't what I wanted to do. I remember when we felt the drift happen, it was so awkward for a bit but I genuinely feel like whenever we connected it would just become...toxic. And it wasn't like they made me worse; we both made each other worse. The idea of 'I have to leave them, they are bringing me down' is BS - it's a two way street buddy. They made me want to gossip / I made them want to gossip. You have to own your part in it. IDK! I just think at 30, there are people I though I'd be close to today that I am not close to at all and although I might miss them, I fully understand that I'm better and healthier and more sane because of that distance. IDK. I'm caffeinated rn. And in my feels. And Bon Iver isn't making it better!!!
Sep 25, 2024
Top Recs from @sillygirltypebeat
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“who’s that voracious reader in the cool fit” - librarians probably
Jul 31, 2024
Mar 21, 2025
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This was going to be an anti-rec about not making out to Beach House with someone you’ve only known three weeks bc you’ll think of them every time you hear Beach House but then I realized that actually life is too short to not make out to Beach House
4d ago