i think it’s important to spend more time learning about the you now. i can honor who i was when i was younger without relating to my immature ideals.
i also don’t remember much about my childhood, but from what i do remember, i am pretty much exactly opposite in a lot of things. i would hate if my personality reflected some of the things i was taught growing up.
i also changed my name a few years ago, which makes me view young me as an entirely different person. but i really really like who i am now, and i’ve been intentionally exploring lots of things to find out what i actually like, connect to, and what brings me life.
don’t get stuck on the past (:
Aug 5, 2024
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as the moment, i’m focusing my energy on reconnecting with the childhood i feel like i missed out on.
long story short, my dad had a near death experience when i was ten and my mom was deployed, so i was parentified really early. i felt like i had a responsibility to carry all these burdens with me and kinda just.. kept operating in that way.
in childhood, i was really into fashion, i was a big reader, i loved to engage in creative activities. so, i’m doing just that.
i recently bought my favorite book from that time to reread, discovering it has a sequel. i play around with my personal style almost everyday, and i‘m back to embroidery and jewelry making.
May 6, 2024
do you ever think about getting older and forgetting the things and the people you loved that saved you when you were a kid? and essentially losing touch with your younger self? and how those things and those people and that kid will always be there for you, in ways you'll never understand? me neither!
May 17, 2024
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one of the biggest things is letting yourself be bored. i feel lucky for all of us who missed being ipad kids and a little dread for the ones who didn't. so much of the life and personality and individual perception i have now came from the little games i used to play in my head and the way you think when you have nothing else to do
i finally just started getting that back. for years i'd always pull my phone out, never go a minute without music or a podcast or some other media injected straight into my brain, and i think i forgot a little how to generate. how to output and create something of your own instead of constantly consuming. but now i walk slowly and see the little worlds in each flower, in each inch of water. everything is so beautiful if you make it so in your head.
i feel like the child version of you is the truest and purest, and most of our lives are spent trying to get back to them, to undo all the layers of alienation and distraction we've placed upon ourselves.
Mar 29, 2025
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it’s such a awkward marker of a new year. a weird mix of wanting people to celebrate you, but feeling tired of the obligation to thank everyone that only reaches out once a year.
i always find birthdays really hard, and fairly disappointing.
my recommendation is to give yourself grace, and do what makes you happy. i know it’s such a generic rec but this past year on the actual day i just took it easy, treated myself to some takeout, and watched a show in bed. a few days after i got together with friends and we went to a restaurant i love but they’d never really wanted to go to. and then we ate homemade cake and watched a movie.
sorry if this isn’t a very upbeat response (: <3
happy birthday!! and know random people on the internet are celebrating you (:
Jul 30, 2024
Aug 16, 2024
its so fun. theres so many types. abundant cheap options to get into. i recommend looking at jet pens website for both articles and pens you can buy. its a topic with tons of history, but is still modern and active. i have a kaweco aluminum sport which is my favorite but i also love the lamy safaris. could go on for hours about this lovely invention
Apr 15, 2024