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I've been writing/playing/recording/releasing my own music since around 2016. Music's been one of my passions in life since I was 10, all I wanted to do was write songs and play them. I had this purple notebook throughout middle school that I would write song ideas down in, mostly lyrics that I had a tune in mind for. But as with a lot of things in my life, I felt insecure and lacked confidence in my abilities and that led me to pursue the visual arts, which is a passion I'd had since I can remember and I got a lot of praise in growing up.
I've been trying to make music for the sake of making it and not for the pipe dream of making a living off of it. To me, doing things like art and music for money is a will killer; it strips all the passion and creativity from the work and it becomes solely about money. It would be nice if some day I luck into making enough money to support myself via my art, but I don't think that's going to happen and I'm not going to play the systems available to me and sell my soul in the process. Going to art school was a bad idea. Anyway, I have been daydreaming here and there about making some instrumental work and making a portfolio, try to get composer work maybe. Don't think my style lends itself to that but you never know. It's less personal that way too, with no words.
The words are the hardest part. I don't know what to say, don't know what I should put my voice behind. I want to be honest about myself, my life, my experience since that's the only thing I would call myself an expert on. And I've been trying to build that up like a muscle, trying to get myself comfortable with writing and singing what I've written. Singing in general. Trying to improve my playing too. I'm not sure if I'll ever get to a point where I'd be playing in front of an audience night after night, that's not really something I want. I believe in the power of performance, something I've been wanting production wise is to keep it simple. Vocals and me playing whatever instrument at the same time, a live recording. I think having to perform the same song every day kills that.
I've been listening to a lot of different music to learn from it, appreciate it. This started with the blues and folk, and where the name Sam the Wayfarer comes from. A lot of folk and blues musicians have names like that- First name the something. Rambling first name, Blind first name, etc. I'm going to switch to a different name, more of a band name than my first name being involved. Not willing to do my first and last name. Not sure if I should make it its own project or just put it over top the wayfarer stuff. But it'll be more of the same.
I don't have a big sound and I like to experiment, play around, do what comes naturally. I'd love to make louder music, but I don't have the space to scream and yell and thrash just yet. I just want to be me.
Jul 10, 2024
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Throughout my whole life, I had awful music teachers. I had a piano teacher that made me sit on my hands because he was frustrated with the way I played scales and a music teacher in primary/middle school that gave me so many anxiety attacks that my doctor finally gave me a note so I didnāt have to go anymore.
I was told so many times throughout my life that I had no music talent, discouraged from going further than scales but all of those people (teachers!!!!) were wrong. They just couldnt fathom that I had a different musical brain than them.
When I was 23, I ended up having to move back home from LA after my job rescinded their promise to sponsor me for a visa. I was depressed and heartbroken and lonely. I went to school for writing but didnāt want to write anymore so I ended up opening GarageBand on my iPad.
I was inspired by all the things I could do on it. I suddenly felt like I was entering a new world. After making a couple beats, I started moving everything over to the laptop version of GarageBand. I bought big headphones, a cheap usb mic and a keyboard off of a guy from Craigslist and continued to tinker. One of my favorite things to do at the time was to download karaoke midi tracks of popular songs I loved, import them into GarageBand and change the instrument until I felt like I was making something new. I would then use my shitty mic to wail on top of it.
I used GarageBand for years after that to make tons of songs that I just uploaded to SoundCloud without thinking about it much. Eventually I got a controller/sampler and access to Ableton and thats when the fun really started.
My love for music making snowballed after that, I amassed more gear and skill and eventually made an album after a couple years. I was obsessed with making it and while I feel really whatever about it now, I donāt feel whatever about the experience.
Music has allowed me space to express parts of me that there are no words for. The best thing I can impart is to take advantage of this. There are some things that you can only explain with a kick drum or a sine wave or a really hard bassline.
Music is still a huge part of me! I made another album after that first and now Iām working on my next project. I recently reincarnated myself (everyone in the ~industry~ advised against this but Iām a different person now) and Iām excited to see whatās in store for me. I donāt expect to make money or become famous but music feeds my soul in a way nothing else can.
Have fun!!
May 4, 2024
the name i'm settling on for my new improvisational music project. for free for you. on spotify too but that's in the process of being changed to the hopefully more legally distinguishable name. I found out there was a other band with a similar name I don't want trouble, so it's "baseball on mute. moving" now, a punctuation and a verb make it more confusing and off putting in my mind, which works and i hope won't land me in hot water down the line. plus when i watch baseball muted, there is still movement, and i still move on in life myself so it feels like it makes sense. I'm not aiming to make any money anyway, just doing it cause it feels right to do.
I hammered out the words over the course of a little over a month, fiddled around with chord progression ideas until i found out about improvisational music and listened to some- the work of Bill Orcutt and Chris Corsano were particularly influential. It's freeing to strip away all the "rules" and get down to the soul of it all. what else is there to say? I feel like making more.
Aug 6, 2024
hello!!!! it has been ~1 week (wtv). lots of things have happened. most around me know very well that i made a cover of 104 Degrees by Slaughter Beach, Dog, on saturday, the 3rd. itās released to youtube, link here! (its all the way bottom most likely)
it for sure came out of a spontaneous burst of creative energy, one that i havenāt really had time or effort to analyze how to replicate it again because in a sense i do feel unfamiliar with my own creativity. it happens, for sure, but why this time? i stickered my guitar, and felt more inclined to play it, thatās all that i know.
on top of that, i made a āmusic videoā for the first time ever. itās recycled out of footage on my sony cybershot in like 600x300, mostly some i took at a park in march, that day was special to me. it was the day i had early release, with the aim of enjoying a day to myself, with full preparedness and itinerary for a specific town. iād go to eat ramen, enjoying my own company, go to a record store, (then vintage store), visit parks, and then go home. and it was really wonderful! i had so much time left over and, throughout my walk in the park i recorded footage for just āsomething.ā. it revealed its title later on during my creative burst.
to be really transparent, my first thoughts for the music video was to make a slideshow of a certain thing i did at my job a lot. for the first year at my job, everytime i got water from the fountain i forced myself to take a picture of the water fountain. I dont exactly know why i did this but there are many pictures of it, i thought at some point iād might use a quick slideshow of them in āsomething.ā
But quickly as i realized nature was probably a better look for the music i was covering i just switched . maybe one day youāll see the water fountain :)
i think i did great at the cover. it inspired me a lot, and did good wonders at feeling confident in what i am creating and being public with it to other people; i made my instagram public because i began to stop caring. now many more people even people i dont follow or an followed by can read this blog! wow!
on another topic i have met someone Very changing. it is hard to disclose every feelign and emotion i have but i āre-metā them last monday and since then we have been on an incredible bond and have talke alotā¦. we share similar quirks and interests and just general specific thought exercises that we put ourselves through. iāve been understood before, but sometimes certain people can get to you more than others; not to their discredit though because novelty is very importnat and this person has it!!! they are incredbblyy talented at art and just have a very creative mind in general (no glaze :p).
with this new meeting, i feel like iām having a social life again. iām learning to be okay with myself still, and this might feel soon, but i feel itās for the best because i feel that i have progressed with feeling things the right way by myself. if i continue this path of self-tolerance or self-acceptance (not yet self-love, again thatās okay.), while also not being completely alone, i feel i will have a great outcome. balancing these two drives could lead to some true growth and iām appreciative of this person coming into my life!!!! they are also very accepting of shortcomings i still have or have had in the past. itās weird when someone new just accepts you as is because.. they donāt know who you were and werenāt there before. weāre also going to the same school which is crazy to think about!!! too much yap tbh letās get to the music
at my last record store trip, i picked out 3 records dear to my heart; expensive but small:
LPs: Heaven or Las Vegas - Cocteau Twins
Ants from Up There - Black Country, New Road
CD:
Young Americans - David Bowie (JPCD)
i really was stuck this time. there were three BC,NR albums to pick from and i think i made the right choice of AFUT because of how long it is. for Forever Howlong, there is a blue and red version that i really dunno what i prefer yet; FTFT is a small record that i can get at a later date.
Finding Heaven or Las Vegas was genuinely such a score on my end. normally my record store keeps stuff in shelves and crates but that day i decided to look under the top shelves and crates and at the records only shown by their bindings. then i found it!!! i dropped FTFT and committed to it. finding the David Bowie CD was really nice; i got complimented for it by the owner bc the JP label adds a lot of character; also thereās a cover of Across the Universe on it. severely enjoy all my finds.
hereās what iām listening to currently (by album):
Sports - Modern Baseball
Welcome - Slaughter Beach, Dog
Gem of the West - SENTRIES (my voice is on this record, still great nonetheless)
i hope if youāre reading this, you find peace within; in moments of anytime. feeling yourself let go even for a couple of minutes is an amazing feeling that, we really do forget a lot. but i hope you find those moments more, because i am the more that time passes. until next week!
May 7, 2025
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Jul 10, 2024
This has been on my rotation lately. I got the cassette during a sale a few weeks ago, but found out about them months ago. They write really catchy hooks, I love the singer's voice in conjunction with the backing vocals and guitars. My favorite songs are Teen Challenge and Fade
Jul 10, 2024