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i just saw the cutest boy ever in the lax tsa line. he was wearing jorts. looking like he had a bushwick sublet waiting for him. so i really hoped he’d be on my flight. but alas, two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and he took the one less traveled by
Jul 9, 2024
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First time flying alone at 18 years old. I had just been dropped off and was dozing off in the TSA line. I was wearing jorts and I had forgotten a bobby pin in the pocket. Cut to me getting a genital patdown in front of everyone in the entire airport. Felt like that John Mulaney bit where he just leans over for a colonoscopy because he's trying to get prescription xanax
May 28, 2025
Dec 2, 2024
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they were training the british tsa that day and bc i got to the airport so early, pulled me aside for the training line but in doing so one tsa agent had directed me to the training line and the other to his own line and the two literally ARGUED about where i was supposed to go 😭
then in the training line, i set something off so they had to swab my hands and pat me down. and as if that wasn’t enough, they had someone in training not very supervised search my bag. she emptied ALL the pockets in my backpack, thoroughly swabbing inside each of them. people were staring!!! and when she turned to her supervisor asking if that was good he told her it was “more than enough”
then i had to face the chaos of the terminal’s waiting area which has a weird layout and not enough seats. i was dealing w a recent painful knee injury, but they only told you your gate 15-20 minutes ahead and i was worried i’d miss my flight so i had to go to my airline’s help desk and ask about it. it turns out they already know all the gates anyways they just don’t tell people ??? then on the flight there was a baby who scream-cried the entire time whose mom did little to help them. which is not heathrow’s fault but was the cherry on top
May 27, 2025
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i’ve done this platonically and romantically recently. and both seem to be working out. i love talking on the phone. we should all talk on the phone more often
Jan 29, 2025
if you love a really famous musician or a major studio movie, you can probably find some bizarre promotional item on the internet. they’re often too rare to purchase. but i DID just order a set of madonna russian nesting dolls from the music era, so it can be done
Apr 29, 2025
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i haven’t done this yet, but my dear friend meredith has been testing it out. it’s working for her. i’m always going on and on about how badly i want a pen pal, so i’ll approach someone with this soon and report back
Feb 17, 2025