honestly i did not feel jealous of boys upbringing because of how i watched my younger brother growing up
he was beat a lot as a kid
and as a girl, i was beat maybe like 4x in my life but he got it more often and much worse
as a member of the black community i believe that a lot of the older generation saw pain as a tool to create discipline and to be able to withstand that pain meant you were strong and if you could not meant you were weak and required MORE pain
at least that how i see it after growing up
there is also a layer of PTSD (post traumatic slave disorder) but i wont go too deep into it
other than that- my upbringing was also pretty neutral so i had no reason to be jealous
i still played a lot with my brother, the boy cousins and my boy friends
we wrestled, did a lot of "run if you can" games in the woods, played "adventure" where we would literally get lost exploring and then by some divine intervention one of us would remember how to get back home
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i am an only child and i have loved every single second of it, the hate we get is undeserved and i feel like im much more closer with my parents than anyone i know because of it
Mar 12, 2025
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it’s so interesting to see how your creation interacts with the world without your direction. it’s like he’s me but not…??? i feel like dr frankenstein lowkey. also why is he so grown :(
Apr 7, 2025
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jealousy can be a motivator. however, i like to see those people as huge trees and they’re shading me while i try to grow
Jul 5, 2024
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using A.I. for art instead of using it to fix problems such as poverty, climate change etc is fucking weird
art is a way people cope with human existence and express feelings as well as share and pass down culture
why tf is A.I. in the mix
its weird to me
Jun 2, 2024
i like to wear lipstick on my upper lip but not the bottom
its v rare when i do
i been doing this since HS honestly and i love it
Jun 19, 2024
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TW: drugs and psychosis
i was in active addiction 4 years ago and was going on a 4 day streak of a bender
where i decided to go to a party do meth (ik) and drink and smoke (more) weed
i was so out of it that when i had to leave
(never drive UTI) it looked like i was driving through a forest under water
when i got back to my friends place her mom said their family cat (who was v old) was dying and she wanted us to say good to him
when i looked at the cat it looked like it was turned inside out and its inside were rotting
i felt sick to my stomach and hid in her room where i began to question everything
what i had seen, what i was doing, and finally who i was and if the thoughts i had were mine or someone else's- it was a lot
it was from there i kinda realized there was more and now im here
sober and a changed woman
the end
Jul 5, 2024