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I just took a cold shower and went straight to meditation as my new song, "Somebody Like You," dropped today. It gave me time to reflect. I've been chasing this dream for about 10 years now. Whether I'm high or low, creating music takes me out of reality and into a flow state. Sometimes, I get ahead of myself and let my ego take over, focusing too much on my career and less on the art. I have to remind myself that art is the vehicle for all of this. Without making music, I wouldn't have a career to worry about.
It also gives me insight into AI; if it takes over, I'll probably be in my 40s with my family in Italy, still creating art and not caring about my monthly listeners. But right now, I'm still young and career-driven. I want to go on world tours and be influential to a certain extent. I manifest every day, and Iām literally living my answered prayer as I write this. I'm in my first L.A. apartment and just released a song I made in my grandma's basement. Seven months ago, I was working at a thrift store in Montgomeryville, Pennsylvania, and now, six months later, I'm performing on an arena stage in Vegas.
Sometimes, you just have to be grateful for how far you've come and realize that God does existāyou just have to be aware of the energy. It will respond once you start taking notice. Thank you, God! "Somebody Like You" is out now!
Jun 24, 2024
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Throughout my whole life, I had awful music teachers. I had a piano teacher that made me sit on my hands because he was frustrated with the way I played scales and a music teacher in primary/middle school that gave me so many anxiety attacks that my doctor finally gave me a note so I didnāt have to go anymore.
I was told so many times throughout my life that I had no music talent, discouraged from going further than scales but all of those people (teachers!!!!) were wrong. They just couldnt fathom that I had a different musical brain than them.
When I was 23, I ended up having to move back home from LA after my job rescinded their promise to sponsor me for a visa. I was depressed and heartbroken and lonely. I went to school for writing but didnāt want to write anymore so I ended up opening GarageBand on my iPad.
I was inspired by all the things I could do on it. I suddenly felt like I was entering a new world. After making a couple beats, I started moving everything over to the laptop version of GarageBand. I bought big headphones, a cheap usb mic and a keyboard off of a guy from Craigslist and continued to tinker. One of my favorite things to do at the time was to download karaoke midi tracks of popular songs I loved, import them into GarageBand and change the instrument until I felt like I was making something new. I would then use my shitty mic to wail on top of it.
I used GarageBand for years after that to make tons of songs that I just uploaded to SoundCloud without thinking about it much. Eventually I got a controller/sampler and access to Ableton and thats when the fun really started.
My love for music making snowballed after that, I amassed more gear and skill and eventually made an album after a couple years. I was obsessed with making it and while I feel really whatever about it now, I donāt feel whatever about the experience.
Music has allowed me space to express parts of me that there are no words for. The best thing I can impart is to take advantage of this. There are some things that you can only explain with a kick drum or a sine wave or a really hard bassline.
Music is still a huge part of me! I made another album after that first and now Iām working on my next project. I recently reincarnated myself (everyone in the ~industry~ advised against this but Iām a different person now) and Iām excited to see whatās in store for me. I donāt expect to make money or become famous but music feeds my soul in a way nothing else can.
Have fun!!
May 4, 2024
The new year has arrived. The same year I told myself and everyone with earssssssssS that I was going to use to change my life. I'll make music again, I'll take better care of myself, I'll stop working in hospitality. I hope I will do all that I've said, although my current unemployment has led me to have the job site search for barista sitting at the tips of my bored fingers.
How does someone who's been off stage for 4 years (basically 5) and totally out of the habit of practising, jump back into it? I don't have the answer to that but I intend to find out this month, what that is going to take.
For now, I will concentrate on inspiration. I'll listen to powerful female vocalists and see where I want to fit. I have no intentions to be famous or even known on a larger scale than a local open mic night. Music is my heart, singing is what feels like the core of my soul. I have gotten into the habit of distancing myself from the people and things that I love, strangely since I found the romantic love I was (some may say, desperately) searching for.
To honouring who I was and learning how to be who I've become.
Jan 8, 2025
hello!!!! it has been ~1 week (wtv). lots of things have happened. most around me know very well that i made a cover of 104 Degrees by Slaughter Beach, Dog, on saturday, the 3rd. itās released to youtube, link here! (its all the way bottom most likely)
it for sure came out of a spontaneous burst of creative energy, one that i havenāt really had time or effort to analyze how to replicate it again because in a sense i do feel unfamiliar with my own creativity. it happens, for sure, but why this time? i stickered my guitar, and felt more inclined to play it, thatās all that i know.
on top of that, i made a āmusic videoā for the first time ever. itās recycled out of footage on my sony cybershot in like 600x300, mostly some i took at a park in march, that day was special to me. it was the day i had early release, with the aim of enjoying a day to myself, with full preparedness and itinerary for a specific town. iād go to eat ramen, enjoying my own company, go to a record store, (then vintage store), visit parks, and then go home. and it was really wonderful! i had so much time left over and, throughout my walk in the park i recorded footage for just āsomething.ā. it revealed its title later on during my creative burst.
to be really transparent, my first thoughts for the music video was to make a slideshow of a certain thing i did at my job a lot. for the first year at my job, everytime i got water from the fountain i forced myself to take a picture of the water fountain. I dont exactly know why i did this but there are many pictures of it, i thought at some point iād might use a quick slideshow of them in āsomething.ā
But quickly as i realized nature was probably a better look for the music i was covering i just switched . maybe one day youāll see the water fountain :)
i think i did great at the cover. it inspired me a lot, and did good wonders at feeling confident in what i am creating and being public with it to other people; i made my instagram public because i began to stop caring. now many more people even people i dont follow or an followed by can read this blog! wow!
on another topic i have met someone Very changing. it is hard to disclose every feelign and emotion i have but i āre-metā them last monday and since then we have been on an incredible bond and have talke alotā¦. we share similar quirks and interests and just general specific thought exercises that we put ourselves through. iāve been understood before, but sometimes certain people can get to you more than others; not to their discredit though because novelty is very importnat and this person has it!!! they are incredbblyy talented at art and just have a very creative mind in general (no glaze :p).
with this new meeting, i feel like iām having a social life again. iām learning to be okay with myself still, and this might feel soon, but i feel itās for the best because i feel that i have progressed with feeling things the right way by myself. if i continue this path of self-tolerance or self-acceptance (not yet self-love, again thatās okay.), while also not being completely alone, i feel i will have a great outcome. balancing these two drives could lead to some true growth and iām appreciative of this person coming into my life!!!! they are also very accepting of shortcomings i still have or have had in the past. itās weird when someone new just accepts you as is because.. they donāt know who you were and werenāt there before. weāre also going to the same school which is crazy to think about!!! too much yap tbh letās get to the music
at my last record store trip, i picked out 3 records dear to my heart; expensive but small:
LPs: Heaven or Las Vegas - Cocteau Twins
Ants from Up There - Black Country, New Road
CD:
Young Americans - David Bowie (JPCD)
i really was stuck this time. there were three BC,NR albums to pick from and i think i made the right choice of AFUT because of how long it is. for Forever Howlong, there is a blue and red version that i really dunno what i prefer yet; FTFT is a small record that i can get at a later date.
Finding Heaven or Las Vegas was genuinely such a score on my end. normally my record store keeps stuff in shelves and crates but that day i decided to look under the top shelves and crates and at the records only shown by their bindings. then i found it!!! i dropped FTFT and committed to it. finding the David Bowie CD was really nice; i got complimented for it by the owner bc the JP label adds a lot of character; also thereās a cover of Across the Universe on it. severely enjoy all my finds.
hereās what iām listening to currently (by album):
Sports - Modern Baseball
Welcome - Slaughter Beach, Dog
Gem of the West - SENTRIES (my voice is on this record, still great nonetheless)
i hope if youāre reading this, you find peace within; in moments of anytime. feeling yourself let go even for a couple of minutes is an amazing feeling that, we really do forget a lot. but i hope you find those moments more, because i am the more that time passes. until next week!
May 7, 2025
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At the core of my artistry lies a commitment to authenticity and vulnerability. I fearlessly delve into the depths of my soul, exploring the complexities of family dynamics, mental health, and the journey towards self-acceptance. Through my music, I invite listeners to join me on a journey of introspection and growth, shedding light on the importance of seeking therapy through sound.
But amidst the weighty themes, there is also room for joy, celebration, and love. In my melodies, I capture the highs and lows of romantic relationships, celebrating the beauty of connection while acknowledging the challenges that come with it. Whether it's a soulful ballad or an upbeat anthem, my music serves as a soundtrack for love in all its formsāunconditional, passionate, and enduring.
I am more than just an artistāI am a beacon of hope, a catalyst for change, and a voice for the voiceless. Through my music, I strive to inspire others to embrace their truth, pursue their dreams, and make a positive impact on the world around them. Together, let us amplify the beat of change and usher in a new era of hip-hopāone where compassion, authenticity, and love reign supreme.
new music out now btwĀ
itās called āamuninniā featuring my brother gabrix outta foggia italy!
photo credz also from my brother always justin lennox williams :)
May 14, 2024
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You know, I started these couch cookups to amp up my social media content. Some episodes got a lot of love, while others didn't quite hit the mark. But the other day, as I was chilling on a California mountain, soaking up some sun and pondering life, it hit me: even if it's just one fan digging my content, I'm making something people enjoy! And hey, it's not just for now; it's something folks can dig into for years to come. You know, like how Kendrick has The Hearts and Drake's got AM's/PM's, despite their ongoing beef. I wanted my own signature thing, something unique. So, I'm gonna keep at it! And who knows, maybe one day we'll drop it on all platforms for those die-hard fans who've been rocking with me from the start. Oh, and on a side note, I've got a ton of music stashed away, so why not keep sharing meaningful art with the world, right?
May 10, 2024