“where should i eat?” i foolishly asked a pigeon who was walking toward me. it looked up, nodded, turned, then walked a bit in the other direction. i followed. it stopped. turned back. “yes, i’m still here” i said. it looked up at me, then back down the road. i followed its line of sight to a mexican restaurant. i thought, what a friendly bird! i ordered and was so pleased with myself. the two days following were an avalanche of diarrhea and vomit. that bird knew exactly what it was doing. sneaky little shit.
