check songkick or other such sites for bands, wander around a neighborhood to find fun spots and thrift stores instead of relying solely on search engines. If you see someone at a gathering wearing something interesting, compliment them on it and ask them where they got it. In short you have to go out in the world and be attentive to it. Sorry if this is corny or useless.
May 30, 2024
Related Recs
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concert? play? Reading? niche movie screening? Rave? Restaurant you want to try? whatever it is, try to wrangle friends if its up their alley (not a pro-antisocial message here) but if it does not work out, take urself! literally worst case scenario absolutely no one gives a fuck best case you make new circumstantial friends. Every one is busy making money and chasing what inspires them to stay here so schedules align once in a blue moon, don’t let that stop you from discovering / enjoying shit.
Feb 21, 2024
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I’m talking collage night I’m talking music trivia I’m talking magazine launches and clothing swaps and workshops and your friends shows even when you don’t really feel like going cause unfortunately you aren’t gonna meet anyone cool if you stay at home make going to stuff your personality
May 15, 2025
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A lot of people will usually recommend signing up for courses or joining clubs to make new friends as an adult. This is definitely good advice, since it puts you in contact with people who share your interests! However, I've found that a lot of these courses or clubs cost money, or they require a schedule that's difficult to fit into an adult life. I've had the most luck making friends at local music shows so far. This way, you're around people that still share at least one of your interests (music taste), and you'll usually have more in common from there. After leaving the "bubble" of my university, I felt very isolated at first. After a few months of going to shows on my own here and there, I started to recognize some familiar faces in the scene & made new connections with a few people. I'd recommend picking a couple bands to keep up with, or following a few local booking companies on social media. If you don't vibe with the crowd at the ones you chose, you can always switch lanes and try different venues! Different groups/venues usually attract different age ranges as well, so if you notice people are too far out of your range at your show, just keep trying other options. I've realized that there's actually multiple scenes inside my local scene, which may be the case for a lot of midsize-to-bigger cities/areas. If you find venues, bands, or booking groups that support certain causes you care about, then most people in the crowd will also share your values, not just your interests! Typically the shows are very cheap, and they're irregular instead of attending a recurring class, so you can decide when you feel like socializing. Even if you don't meet people you connect with, it's nice to feel like a part of a bigger community & get out of the house sometimes. Going out frequently can be draining to some people, so once you meet some people from the shows, you can start inviting them to other activities or hangouts that might be more lowkey & easier to manage!
Aug 20, 2024
Top Recs from @obiewilcox
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Sometimes it’s all that‘s really needed before going out
May 20, 2024
May 21, 2024
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A brief taxonomy of haters, in order of least to most worthy:
1. Contrarian - the worst kind; completely unmoored and childish. Sometimes lobbed as an insult unfairly but not always.
2. The Deranged - just hating on someone or something obsessively, usually deservedly but to the point of excess. I can kinda respect it but at some point you‘re just inflicting psychic damage on yourself.
3. The Principled Hater - a stone in the stream, a person with a vantage point and a sense of taste who understands their own subjectivity. Willing to give anything a fair shake but unwilling to pretend to like something they can’t bring themselves to.
May 21, 2024