Rec | ONE IDEA I HAVE

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Rec'd on 🎥 if you could make a billion dollar movie, what would you do?

This guy who lives alone wakes up in the middle on the night bc he has to pee. So he walks to his bathroom but the door is locked. Thats weird maybe i just didnt turn the knob correctly he thinks. He tries again. This time it opens easily. There is a person he has never seen before sitting on the toilet though. What the heck!!! He thinks to himself. Maybe he is just having a weird dream. He rubs his eyes and opens his eyes. No one is there. He pees. He decides to wash his hands even though it is the middle of the night bc he is hygienic. Anyways, when he turns on the faucet blood comes out instead of water.

@whalebutt

May 21, 2024

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anti-rec: back-to-back toilet carrier mounts

Imagine you miraculously enter an empty bathroom at work. No, not the one closest to your desk. The one on the other side of the building that takes a little extra effort to get to but doesn't get nearly as much foot traffic. So little, in fact, that your entrance actually trips the motion detector, and the lights flick on as if to say, "Relax bud. Nobody's been in here for a while, and there's a good chance you'll get the whole thing to yourself if you're lucky." You sashay toward an open stall door, unencumbered by a potential awkward interaction with a coworker where neither of you are really sure if it's more polite to say hello or just avoid eye contact. (Most likely you would have both settled for a timid nod, halfway between a smile and a grimace.) You click the latch closed as it echoes throughout the vacant tiled room and have yourself a peaceful sit - and then it happens. At first, you aren't sure if you're imagining it, but the seat sinks down a fraction of an inch. "I must have shifted my weight in a weird way," you think to yourself. Then suddenly, it moves UP a fraction of an inch, nudging you out of your delusion. The wall-mounted toilet creaks against its bolts. A vision of the office floor plan flashes across your mind, and you conclude there is only one possibility: The interior wall bracket holding all of your weight is acting as a fulcrum for a mirror-image configuration in the adjacent bathroom, and someone on the other side of the wall is coming to the same mortifying realization. Your tranquil retreat becomes a nightmare as the space-saving mount has you both perched upon a see-saw of embarrassment. You both freeze, unsure of what to do, and somehow it's worse to know they noticed too. Trying not to think about the fact that there is one degree of plumbing separating your bare butts, you rush cautiously through your business and time your exit strategically as not to run into anyone on the way out. I don't know the answer to this modern engineering catastrophe, but there just has to be a better way.

@theclack

May 14, 2025

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saying “we’re both going to see something very weird” to your companion & summoning something very weird

My sister & I went to the store the other day. She was looking to sell & donate some clothes of hers & I was just along for the ride. I looked over at her, dead serious, and said “O——, we’re both going to see something strange right now & theres nothing we can do about it”. She laughed & asked me what I meant & I just sort of repeated myself because that was all I had to say right then. We saw him instantly when we walked into the store. His left leg had a disease. It was engorged & thick & swollen. It was in a sort of brace— it looked like there were metal rods stabbing into his shin, stabbing into the bone. I think the wounds were just open. Were they wounds? I couldn’t really tell, I didn’t want to stare. How does stabbing someone in the leg with a metal rod help him? What sick freak doctor’s office did this poor schmuck limp into? I hope he’s ok & I hope his leg is ok. He seemed kind, he seemed like he knew that his leg had a magnetic effect on people. I bet you he’s. good husband and father. But sometimes It doesn’t matter who you are, your leg is going to become diseased & punctured. And sometimes you can speak things into reality if you truly believe. Try it sometime, you might see something weird.