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Style is communication, from you to the world and from you to yourself. There's an acknowledgment in it of the quirks of being human; how we drink the world through our eyes and how those two find particular and irrational pleasure in some images over others.
There's also more practical benefits to consider in presentation. In the best of cases, without the pressure of gazes, crafting your look may become a form of care, of preparation for the day, of grounding.
Style is difficult, nevertheless, in the same way knowing and doing what you want is always difficult. There's material and confidence limits in looking how you want to look, too. Still, I think the effort is worth something, but I can't speak for anyone else.
By placing intention on the container, the intent of the contents comes out, I believe.
May 20, 2024
Related Recs
there is an art to putting together a good fit. it's not vanity but an outward expression. texture, fabric, patterns... the intention behind your adornments... all of it paramount to who you are.
Feb 26, 2025
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comfort has been my main focus since i was a toddler & i’m trying to honor that intuition in adulthood. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin & wardrobe, which is a challenge as a bigger woman raised in purity culture & fashion as vanity. i’m still most comfortable in modest looks & don't see that changing. the quality & texture of fabric is important to me as well. i don’t like anything that tugs or clings in an irritating way.
i’m also pragmatic so i want functional clothing that will last & i'm trying to build my mending & maintenance skills. i love leather shoes & bags, they’re so warm & classic & durable. i love buying thrifted things that have some life in them already. i love having one-of-a-kind pieces that i can make my own.
i often feel stuck between wanting to express myself through style & wanting to be as nondescript as possible. i like the validation of a good fit but also hate making an entrance. sometimes i’ll put together a look i love & then i’ll swap out one of the elements to ruin it cuz i feel too intimidated. i don’t know if this is because of social anxiety or body image issues or my feelings of not belonging throughout childhood. maybe this is my way of avoiding distraction so i can be present with the people around me.
aesthetics-wise, i love dressing like a fun auntie sometimes (typically in spring/summer) & other times i want to lean more masc with edgy streetwear looks (fall/winter). unique prints are a must, rich earth & jewel tones, classic & sturdy footwear, handcrafted jewelry with a story behind it. idk how to weave together these competing energies of warmth & playfulness, stifled rebellion & hesitant individuality. still trying to identify what i like & give myself space to explore & express that!
May 9, 2024
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dress with intention and do everything for your inner child. my 15-year-old self would fucking love my style today.
everything is so algorithmic these days and everyone dresses the same. define your own style identity outside of online influence. look through film, music, old magazines, fashion books, and find people/runway collections/characters whose styles resonate with you.
study how people throughout history have communicated with their style. (start with lil' kim!)
journal about your style journey throughout your life and think about why you dressed the way you did and how it made you feel. ask yourself how you want to dress moving forward for where you wanna go in your life.
study runway collections and learn about the designers' intentions with the stories they're telling through their creative work. when you finally purchase a piece you've appreciated for years instead of impulse-buying a bunch of fast fashion clothes, it's so fulfilling.
styling is a skill and you'll continue to develop it throughout your life. it's a journey, not a destination.
Sep 14, 2024
Top Recs from @capnhahab
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Underwear, soap, sunblock, sheets; if you're putting up a barrier between the physical you and the oh-so-hazardous world then, if possible, have it be the most effective barrier it can be.
May 15, 2024
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Receiving is giving too. Also, there's quite a high chance you deserve to be complimented.
Apr 26, 2024
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Why do they hide so much history within them? Why does that past come out in most unprompted ways? Why is the pizza line at Costco essential for me to learn my grandfather's name was Salvador, that dad was buddies with famous luchadores, or that he is casual friends with many a notable playwright?
I hope it's not the feeling that I'd be uninterested; I certainly am.
His storytelling is so casual, so carefree. Maybe he likes the old days to be the old days and his place to be in the now, and his way of keeping the past at bay is to scarcely visit it, to give nostalgia no special regard.
Perhaps he likes the chance to be mysterious, and he very much is in these moments. It's strange for there to be mystery between us, but that's unavoidable, I guess. I try not to take it as a barrier. We are mysteries even to ourselves; it's an unjustly tall order to make ourselves crystal clear for others, even our children, perhaps.
Whatever it is, I treasure each pearl of the weird history, the places he has been and the trouble he got into. He was and still is that young man just as I hope to still be who I am today, even if in bite-sized, shocking portions.
Apr 29, 2024