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Growing up in a very pentecostal upbringing, there was a lot of fear / anxiety / worry about the afterlife. Mom & dad really did their best to make sense of a lot of that, but our church just leaned into the fire & brimstone. Weāve all since come to terms with our beliefs, even though theyāre varied from family member to family member. Recently though, Iāve been looking back to what scared me and finding ways to make āthingsā out of those fears, almost to show power and control over them. Those very thoughts donāt scare me / donāt hold me any longer. So hereās to all the late 90ās / early 00ās fear tactics used in churches with pews where youād be handed a tract about hell to share with your friends.
May 16, 2024
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i have been through my fair share of baptist church induced turmoil in my time and i think my issue wasnāt with the holy spirit, but with the shame and control and hatred from the people around me. and i think by becoming completely independent from those who would seek to morally control me, in that they do not have to power to strip away my basic needs and wellbeing if i were to act against the church, i have solved my immense anxiety around acting freely and speaking my mind. i used to fully disassociate during any religious discussion and now i sometimes participate in prayer, and have less anxiety around extremely religious people- what are they going to do to me? i can stand alone in the world! i have a community of like-minded people who support me! i even have expressed how i feel about the church to my parents so it doesnāt feel like iām hiding anymore, and even though they are still in denial and that might not be feasible for you, it helped me.Ā
there is definitely an aspect of deeply embedded shame and fear that canāt be reached by independence alone that i think i will be working on for my entire life. thatās ok, it makes me who i am, and certain parts of me that were shaped by the church are strengths. also, no matter how many times someone says you are going to literally burn in hell for eternity, itās not true. you are not alone, and this too will pass.
May 18, 2025
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i love my family and my parents did so many things right with us, but it was scary and confusing as a child to hear such mixed messages about Godās mercy and wrath. i had a lot of rapture anxiety (still do sometimes) and often feel like i'm never doing enough for the world. i was a missionary kid, so i was raised with an urgency to literally save peopleās souls from an eternity in hell. and i believed it all so earnestly.
iām learning but itās hard to let myself make mistakes without fear of judgment or punishment. and to feel worthy of rest. and to be needy instead of always meeting other peopleās needs.
it also took me until 30 to realize iām queer because i had so much homophobia and purity culture to deconstruct before i could safely see myself.
Jul 18, 2024
growing up Christian gave me religious trauma but at least iāll always have the esoteric bible memes
Feb 12, 2025
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I feel like thereās a special connectivity on this app that I havenāt felt in a long time, maybe since early 2010ās tumblr. The fact that you canāt promote yourself like IG is wonderful. The fact that there isnāt mass video content like Tik Tok is great. Itās not this monetized / paid sponsorship app. People are here because they want to be a part of something with nothing to gain besides friendship. Seeing the URL -> IRL meetups warms my heart so much (waiting for an NYC or Brooklyn meetup).
Thanks for your participation on this niche little app. I smile reading all the recs and all the comments and all the asks. Hope weāll all be here for a long time.
Jun 15, 2024
florinegrassenhopper riotgrrrl brendanooooo slowdazzle buck_mcgraw and indianjones ā we did it. Not only did we successfully meet for drinks, but we also schemed the hostile takeover of this app from tyler tonight.
In all seriousness ā weird that an app I downloaded in April would make genuinely want to drive back into Brooklyn during end of day traffic for a happy hour. Great app filled with great people.
Jul 20, 2024
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I think a life rule for me is to surround myself with people who know more / are smarter / are cooler than me and just absorb their aura by listening / observing them. Itās made me the incredibly smart / cool person you all know and love.
I just never thought Iād feel the same way about URL friends. Iām constantly listening to the songs I see posted here, reading the articles, subbing to newsletters, and googling topics that get tossed onto the feed.
Itās nice to know you can become a more rounded person by just absorbing what your mutuals post on here. Iām going to sit on my couch, have a cocktail and digest my lovely feed. Happy Sunday!
Sep 15, 2024