https://youtu.be/5QMlIjSnt_E?feature=shared
May 16, 2024

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i just read someone's linkedin update and it made me think. a girl who graduated in motion design now felt too confined by branding guidelines, 6 months after working in that sector, now transitioned to being a motion artist with capital A. after reading her reasoning, i see her as such now. i think that it's important that when you're trying to become something or be someone, it's important to dare to call yourself what you are. am i making sense? i didn't sleep much last night..
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reviewing an old lecture slide deck and being reminded of why i do any of this. that was the day i thought, huh maybe this will all be worth it in the end. maybe the scientists of the past, in their endless pursuit of knowledge, were all just chasing the spark i felt too. black box opens 2024 (62 slides)
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So I'm up. Thinking and feeling this unsettling feeling of how I'm not made for this place. It's comfortable, but doesn't feel mine. I want, I need to be in a bigger, better place. Ever since I was a child (who grew up in a teeny tiny town), I've always known I'm made for a bigger place(outside this country), and now that I've grown up and moved to a bigger city(in the same country, unfortunately) I can't help but feel this dread of not being able to ever experience the life I wanted. I've grown up watching all these shows on disney and HBO and everything that showed me what life outside my country is like, and I've wanted nothing more than to experience it. But what if I never get to do it? I'm in my mid twenties already. I need neeeed to experience that life. I'm filled with this dread, but also there's something calling to me. I know in my gut that I'm made for bigger things and that this is not it. I'm waiting for things to fall into place for me. I hope one day I come back and look at this post and comment "I made it".
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Made me feel like I started a race and ran in the opposite direction https://youtu.be/b74wOXpPMq4?si=9peuuO53hOX077pU
May 16, 2024