-i don't feel happy in the moment very often. but when i look back, i know when something was good.
-imagining how my dog feels when he chases a ball, or how a tree feels when it's sunny,
i dont think you can pursue it, it's just something that happens, like the weather
May 15, 2024
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its call takes me back to when I was outside all the time as a kid. my cousins and I often explored our family's property together, climbing trees, walking across frozen streams, seeing wildlife and flowers, and really just being innocent children. we aren't really close anymore though.
its call takes me back to taking a walk many years ago. there's a photo from it, me walking up a hill, my toddler self with my grandma and dad holding my hand on either side of me. I've seen the original photo too, with my dad as a toddler walking up the same hill with my grandma about 30 years before that. I'm glad I have that photo because, not long after the photo was taken, she was too.
its call takes me back to being at my grandpa's house early in the morning after my mom dropped me off before work in the summer. maybe there were birds in the birdhouses on the porch. and maybe there were nestlings being taken care of by their mother, and we could hear their soft chirping through the screen door. we had to have the door open because there was no air conditioning. well, not was, there was never air conditioning or heat. but I never minded because he always made sure I was cool or warm or whatever the season called for. I'm freezing now though, and he's not here anymore to help me.
its call takes me back to when things were a lot simpler, and I find peace in that feeling.
Feb 22, 2025
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Nothing wrong with it, in the right measure
Jan 25, 2024
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it always feels so mysterious to meβ¦
Jun 30, 2024
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Ever since I turned 18 I've felt like adulthood is a constant battle against nihilism/blackpills. I wont give in! Life has meaning!
May 12, 2024
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I have these spiders that live in my house called flatties and I love them. They are so silly and they are always running around. They don't make webs, they hunt their prey like some kind of crab. Did you know tarantulas live 20-25 years? That's incredible. I have many tarantulas that live in my yard and they love chilling outside their hole and night every summer. Before I moved into this house I was so scared of bugs. I had no choice but to face my fears and now I like spiders. Life will change you, won't it?
ps. I wanted to include a flattie picture but i decided not to out of consideration for others who are scared of bugs. so google them if you are curious!
May 13, 2024