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after engaging in social occasions or group environments. Write out your shame, instead of grabbing your phone to numb the feeling. Realistically once you’ve written it out, getting the maths wrong on a bill really wasn’t a big deal at all and literally no one thinks you’re a big boring annoying idiot, and all you needed was to laugh at yourself for thinking it.
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Not in the sense where you do dumb shit and disturb people and things and have absolute zero shame. But just not shaming yourself into not trying things or doing things because you fear judgement and embarrassment.
We’ve integrated being ashamed into our consciousness over the darndiest littlest things. No more shame for goofing up when learning something new or waving to someone accidentally. Take it with stride. Just laugh at yourself once in a while… it makes a good story.
Feb 5, 2024
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And getting over it because it’s totally fine actually and the world isn’t going to end!! 🤯
Oct 9, 2024
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on confronting traumatic moments revolving around embarrassment or shame:
when i was like 14 in chorus class we were all required to do a solo performance. singjng is my biggest insecurity and i completely shut down any time i have to actually perform. needless to say, this was the epitome of that experience. tweenage me had the biggest panic attack of my entire life trying to ukelele creep by radiohead (per any 14 year old girl).
i have made progress w my vocals in recent years but despite everything i can barely even listen to that song 7 years later because thats all i think about. it was utter humiliation.
that said, i got out my stupid little fake gay mini guitar w its pretty odd stickers and jon cozart signature and decided to try to redo it like rn. nobodys in this room but me and i am still aching in terror- its like i can literally see the band room’s music stands and the podium in the corner where our director was sitting. i just hit record on my little voice memos and i was 14 again. trying not to throw up rn.
still got just as nervous. still couldnt do anything near what im technically capable of in shaking violently and trying not to hyperventilate— but i got through it? its done? i am alive and i have now realized that the worst moment of my life despite everything else ive been through was defined by my insecurity rather than an actual catastrophe- shocker.
i am 21 and i am nauseous in my room alone and still fuck up strumming kn the fucking UKELELE (i didnt think that was possible) because of the same overestimation of significance and perfectionism that took me DEEEYOOWWWNNN!! at 14.
its a nice reflection. idk how this can transfer to different situations but honestly i recommend it- i have now diluted the significance of an event that i have never gotten over ever in my life.
gives my brain more room for the good out there.
Dec 5, 2024
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I used to be envious of people who had “MySpace friends” or “tumblr friends”. Now I have PI.FYI friends. Thank you capyboppy for your lovely letter and this illustration of a capybara and a mouse with fruit on our heads, it made me weirdly emotional ❤️
Jun 11, 2024
Apr 5, 2024
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is gig etiquette dead? Don’t go to a gig if you wanna just talk to your mates! go to a pub it’s what they’re for!
Dec 8, 2024