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our faces don’t really look the same - Aware

- happy snowstorm to those experiencing it. over time i’ve been quite used to my environment changing around me. i know with how much control i’ve exhibited that it hasn’t been a case of myself lacking control or my *will* being meaningless, but rather the way i wake up. - in the past few months, i shut myself off in attempts to minimize whatever i was feeling. i’m still guilty of it but, looking at pictures of myself before i turned out this way makes me see that even if i can’t see how my behavior’s changed, i can see the physical. this is a very stupid and literal reference, but “changes” by david bowie goes as such: / Ch-ch-changes, just gonna have to be a different man Time may change me But I can’t trace time / time will change us. no matter what, but our efforts will amount to something if we try imitating its grip! facing it first, (grimly) succumbing to time could be what makes us change. there’s times where my change isn’t my priority. i’m guilty of wondering how other people think of me now, when i will never be able to know such “hows”. i get scared, terrified of how someone else may have changed, and like with how the physical changes are the most obvious, the aspect that sets in the most fear for me is seeing how people physically change. it’s an odd feeling. you meet who you’re going to be in the future, in each fleeting moment, but once that isn’t in your control, and you’re facing what you can’t lie about, you can’t stop how your environment changes. people look different, their perceptions of you change. all you can do is think what you could do differently, or accept everything. accept who you’re going to be and everything you’re not.

@sebbspirit

Jan 19, 2025

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heyy

and i made a song about you but it’s also about me and no one will ever hear it its called my thoughts and its not actually a song but the way music flies out of your mouth makes me want to say sweet nothings as i put my words with yours like a torn up half read book you keep by your bedside table that you tell yourself you’ll get around to. i play fast and loose with my actions around you, and maybe it’s too much even for me. i try to distract with overconsumption of digital content thst just fucking overwhelmes me and gets in the way of anything getting done. you’ll never read this by the way. but can i recite the pages of senseless amateur poetry i wrote about you? i never really belong anywhere, and i camouflage into a current residence until i trick myself into thinking i truly know the people i’m around. it happened once, the effect that is. im not there anymore, and i hope those people don’t hate me like i hate myself for leaving. this isn’t about you, just me rehashing horrible guy-wrenching emotions of a past (if you can even call two years ago the past), and things i don’t talk about. im the most observant person ever, and you wouldn’t expect it. i’m so sensitive, i pick up every little movement someone does and i overthink everything thst happens before and after a conversation, guilt racks me after any social gathering and i wonder if i said anything wrong. but there’s so much to be grateful for life is so so beautiful im so lucky to be alive and have this device that i’m emotionally giving myself to and have given my life to. i love love, life, and people and i already made a long post about this im not reiterating. and i love how i can see you everyday and stand on the sidelines as your hype man in your game of love, ill hold the water bottle of my unrequited longing, ready to serve drops of my musings of you only to accidentally pour myself onto you.

@huxsid

Mar 26, 2025

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Being misunderstood

Sometimes I’m sincere…sometimes I’m feeling a little silly…forever torn between two different fabrics of reality. This is the path I must take…alone.

@mitchmarsico

Feb 1, 2024

Top Recs from @zahrathenomad

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All the things i wish i said to you

I don’t want to pretend that I don’t care about you that I don’t wonder how are you doing. That I don’t feel the frustration that you are going through and not reach a hand out. You know I think about about all the people that I loved and I never gotten a chance to tell them that because I’m too scared to tell how I feel to bear my soul to them to expose myself. I am scared of how they reacted thinking that my love is too much. That it might suffacate you. Well I don’t want want to do that any more I don’t want fear to rule my life. I don’t want words to go being unsaid. I love you and I care about you. And I don’t want to punish myself for that. This world is scary and I don’t know why we punish ourselves for wanting to connect with the people we want to. The ones we are drawn to. My love for you has no expectation no analysis no Freud. I care and I love because I simply to. I want to spend an average day beyond these simple pleasantries beyond this conversation. And I want you to know that. That no matter what I am here for you and I would do anything for you. And I see you. I see you beyond the charactures of personality that we curate to blend in. I see you. And I see the pain. And I see the joy. And I want to be there. And I want nothing. I just want you to let me love you.

@zahrathenomad

Apr 23, 2024

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Walking library

I am full of stories  A walking library  Waiting for someone to pick out a book Read me  Tell me who I am 

@zahrathenomad

Apr 23, 2024

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grapes under tables

Its a new year A fresh plate A clean slate I bought grapes to eat under the table at midnight To find my love But i ended up forgetting while i was cleaning my room Something i told myself i want to do for me And i wrote a goal list Decorated my notebook Laughed Danced Sung at the top of my lungs And i think thats my sign Leave the search for this man Put that passion into yourself Search for me Laugh Dance And sing at the top of your lungs You are whole All of you Beautiful Theres nothing missing Nothing to search for No grapes to eat under tables

@zahrathenomad

Apr 15, 2024